177: Habits and Routines with Jessica Massey [REPLAY]

Sabrina: On today’s episode of the Shoot It Straight podcast, I have one last replay for you, and this one is actually an interview that I did here on this podcast way back in the beginning, in the very first year of the podcast. Episode 45 is an interview with my friend Jess Massey of the Hustle Sanely community.

I love Jess, and I’ve gotten to interview her a couple of times. She’s taught in a couple of my groups. She’s a really great human and she is brilliant when it comes to habits and routines, and that’s what we talked about in this episode of the podcast. And the reason I’m bringing it back, sticking it up here, uh, for the new listeners, because this is one of the most listened to episodes on this podcast because it’s something that we all need.

And I wanna make sure that whether you’re new here, or even if you heard this podcast way back in the beginning when it first aired, I want you to listen to it again with fresh ears. Because our seasons change. The seasons of life change, the ages of our kids change, or maybe we’ve had another child. What our family life looks like, what our business looks like, what our goals and needs.

Everything changes. And so our habits and routines should be changing alongside of those things to support us and make things better. And so we are replaying this episode because it’s the start of a new year and this is the perfect time to get in this mindset, and I just wanted to kind of refresh it and bring it back.

Next week, new episodes are coming back to shoot it straight. I cannot wait to hear you then. But first, let’s listen back into this episode with Jess Massey.

Welcome to the Shoot It Straight Podcast, where honesty meets heart and real talk actually means something. I’m your host, Sabrina Gehart, and each week we get vulnerable, practical, and just a little bit bold so you can feel seen, supported, and ready to take the next step in your photography journey.

Let’s go.

Welcome back to the Shoot It Straight podcast, my friends, I am so excited about today, just to be totally honest with you. I got an email about this guest and I literally squealed out loud. I was actually at a conference. I was at the Reset conference and I was preparing to speak, and I see this email come through and I run over and tell my friend who also knows this person, and we were like, no way.

No way. So excited. And I knew immediately that this is gonna be a great chat because we are so aligned on so many levels. So. Today I am bringing Jess Massey of the Hustle. Sanely all the things, right? The Hustle Sanely podcast. Uh, website. She’s got a membership. She’s the jam, and I cannot wait to finally chat with her.

Um, not really in real life, but we’re gonna call it in real life. ’cause that’s what, that’s what 2023 is all about, is the zooming and the internet relationships. So. We’ve got a great, great chat today and I did a little bit of an introduction before we hopped on, but Jess, I want you to go ahead and introduce yourself to the audience.

Jess: Wow. Okay. Sabrina, what a warm welcome. I am so excited to be here. Truly, when you held up your planner, whenever we got on, I was just like, no freaking way. Like I am so excited to just jump into this conversation, but like you said, my name is Jess Massey and I am the owner and founder of the Community Centered Productivity Company called Hustle Stain Lee.

I started Hustle Stanley. Hustle Stanley leads me five this year, which I am just like, oh my word. Like how did we get here so quickly? Um, so I started it back at the tail end of 2018. I was actually in graduate school for speech language pathology at the time. So very different from what I’m doing now.

Um, and I actually started Hustle Stain Lee as, um, a digital planning Etsy shop. Also, I mean that’s still like a very tiny part of what we do now, but it’s, that’s all I did whenever we first started. So Hustle Sanely has just really ebbed and flowed and grown. I feel like it’s grown with me as I’ve grown over the years.

Um, and I always tell people that I created hustle sanely because I needed hustle sanely, and it just so happened that other people needed it as well. Um, and so that’s why I call it a community centered productivity company. I really do feel like. That’s kind of what sets us apart from other planner companies or productivity coaches, is the fact that we create all of our products and services with the Hustle Stanley community.

Yes, they are for them, but it’s just, it’s a really cool piece of how we do things. It’s just inviting the community into help us create what we’re making for them. Um, so yeah, I have been doing this for almost five years and I absolutely love it. And I a little bit more on like the personal side. I am a wife to my high school sweetheart.

We celebrated nine years of being married yesterday actually. Um, and I also have a four month old daughter. She is our first kiddo, probably our only kiddo if I’m being honest. Um, and so that is kind of what takes up the majority of my time. I would say those three roles, business owner, wife and mama.

Sabrina: I love that.

And I have, you know, I follow you online and I’ve loved watching you become a mom. And so it was really cool because when you were pregnant, you did not. Say the name ever until she like came home from the hospital. And I love that. But I think somewhere when you were getting close to your due date, you shared that it was gonna start with an E.

Yep. Did you share that? Okay. I did. So my, I have three kids and my oldest is a girl and her name starts with an E. And I was like, oh my gosh, is it gonna be her name? It’s not, they don’t, they don’t share the same name. But, um, it was, it’s just been fun to watch you and it’s brought back so many memories.

My daughter is. 15 and almost. Oh my. Yeah. Like we are in driver’s ed. We are. I mean, it’s right. Yeah. It’s wild. It’s wild. Like we’re starting to talk about college and stuff, and so just looking back at you and your tiny little one has been really fun to watch. It’s been really fun to watch. Oh, I love

Jess: that.

My husband and I talk about Everly driving. We’re like, I feel like it’s going to be here before we know it. ’cause it really does that little saying, the cheesy thing that everybody says, like, what is it? The days are long, but the years are short. Like, that is spot on from what we have like experienced so far.

And I’m just like doing my best to be incredibly present and just kind of savor every, every hard thing, every good thing. Just kind of have my like be where my feet are with

Sabrina: her. Yeah. And that’s, that’s the best advice anybody can give you. Mm-hmm. And I will tell you, if nobody’s told you this. Every year goes faster than the year before.

Oh. And so if you feel like it’s, if you feel like it’s fast forward right now, you just wait, I mean like once she gets into school and on like a school year calendar, then you’re like a whole nother level of, I mean it’s just, it is a wild, fun ride, but enjoying where you are is. Is huge. It’s huge deal.

You know it. Totally, totally. And just in case, and maybe you’re not, but just in case you’re nervous about having a teenage girl, I tell people this all the time. When I found out I was pregnant with my daughter, I was so excited because like a girl and I’d always wanted one, but I was also like a little panicked about like the teenage years with a.

It has been a delight. It has been such a surprise.

Jess: I have

Sabrina: loved it so far. Thank you

Jess: for saying that. That’s what I told my husband. I was like, I am so excited to have a little girl. I am terrified of having a bigger girl. Yes, we’ll figure it out and we’re down to like be what she needs us to be and you know, all that.

But I am kind of terrified. So that is really encouraging, honestly.

Sabrina: Yeah, it’s been really fun. I really mourned when she was like getting into the young elementary age and like not the cute little chubby toddler anymore, but then she hit 10 and I was like, she’s like a little girlfriend and like it has been.

So, so fun. She and I are going to see Taylor Swift this weekend and oh my gosh, she like doesn’t wanna go with her friends. She’s like pumped to go with me. That is

Jess: in incredible. Oh my gosh. Taylor Swift was in Tampa three shows this past weekend and I saw so many like mother daughter duos just traveling around like at Target at the coffee shop and they had on like their Taylor merch and I was like, that’s incredible.

Sabrina: Yeah, it’s super fun. It’s super fun. Okay. We could talk about motherhood all day. I’m sure we could. I’m sure we could. But today we are chatting about healthy habits and routines, which is something that I love to teach about and I know you love to teach about. So this is gonna be such a good chat, but let’s start at the very foundational level.

How do you define healthy habits and routines? Like where, where are we getting at today?

Jess: Yeah, I love this question because I feel like, I feel like there’s two types of people for the most part, right? People who hear habits and routines and they’re stoked. Like automatically they’re like, yes, these are mostly like our type A, just appreciate structure, find comfortability in structure and they’re just like, alright, let’s, let’s talk about it.

And I feel like there is an, and that’s me. I fall in this camp and my husband, who I love dearly falls in the other camp where he is just like. Routines and habits, right? He’s like, that is putting me in a box. Like I feel like I am in jail. I feel like I’m in trouble. I’m not enjoying life. Like, absolutely not.

Like it’s too rigid for me. Um, and so I think that that’s kind of old school thinking when it comes to habits and routines and how habits and routines used to be taught and kind of perceived, but I feel like a big. Thing that I teach and that I really believe when it comes to what is like what are healthy habits, what are healthy routines, they’re habits and routines that support you in the current season that you’re in.

And I think that’s kind of what really kind of levels the playing field for everybody. Where as my husband now, he’s a new dad. This is a brand new season for him. He is a new entrepreneur. He left his nine to five at the beginning of 2022. So he has a lot of newness going on in his life right now, and so he has learned that when you create habits and routines that meet you where you’re at and support you in your current season, they are so incredibly helpful and they.

Help you to show up for your life the way you wanna show up for it. It real, they really do equip you to kind of take ownership of your life. Um, rather than feeling like you’re getting mauled every single day by all these to-dos people kind of reaching for you, um, you know, people calling you, needing this, that, and the other.

So I really do think that is how I would describe healthy habits, healthy routines is routines and habits that support you. Like in your current season, because I feel like so often people hear those words and they’re like, once they’re created, they’re created and I’m stuck in that forever and that’s not the case.

Like at all. If you have those kind of habits and routines, that’s probably why they’re not working for you because you’re not using them to support your current season.

Sabrina: Yeah, I love that so much. I’m a huge advocate of like always reevaluating what season you’re in because with parenthood and business just.

Also the seasons of the year. I mean, just things are constantly changing and there is no one size fits all. You will never create a schedule that you stick with for the rest of your life. That’s just hundred percent that’s not gonna happen. Yes. Um, and so this audience in particular, we are female creative entrepreneurs.

There’s a lot of photographers. As creatives. I feel like people hear habits and routines and they’re like, no thank you. No thank you. That’s way too restrictive. I wanna be that free spirit. I wanna have time to create. And I’m always telling people, habits and routines actually give you more time to create.

Yeah. They allow you that freedom and it’s so stop looking at it as a negative that it’s gonna like suck the creativity away, but it actually supports you thriving more as a creative.

Jess: Right. I could not agree more. I feel like a lot of students that I’ve worked with in the household, family community who do kind of fall into that creative type of person, they feel the same way.

Like habits and routines are going to stifle their creativity. Where to me it’s just like you said, Sabrina, it’s the exact opposite. I feel like. When you have habits and routines in place that are supportive for your season, it frees up so much mental space. It frees up so much time on your calendar. It creates margin in your life when you have habits and routines that are, that make sense for what, where you’re at in life.

It really does just free up so much of you mentally, emotionally, like your actual time. Um, and that means you get to choose what you’re gonna do with that margin. Which, if you’re a creative, I’m sure it’s going to probably be something creative. So I couldn’t agree with you more there.

Sabrina: Yeah, I love that.

So again, this audience is largely the cre, the creative entrepreneurs, most of them are moms. So we all are juggling that balance of the kids and the house and the business and ourselves. So for this particular audience. Why are healthy habits and routines so dang important for these women?

Jess: Okay. I have learned this very quickly, like very early on when I gave birth to my daughter, I wondered what it was going to look like, kind of running a business.

Being a human being as just me, and then kind of adding in that mom role, which to me, a mom role, it’s an all encompassing role, right? You can’t just kind of dabble like you’re all in when you’re a mom. Um, and so I. That was one of my biggest things before becoming a mom is I wanted to make it a priority to keep myself a priority because I know I, and we hear this all the time, you can’t pour from an empty cup.

And it’s true, but another way that I like to view that. You can’t run on e you can’t show up for all the roles in your life if you have no fuel in the tank. Um, and so to me, these healthy habits and these routines, that’s, that’s the gas station. Like that’s you fueling yourself so that you can show up for your other roles.

Sabrina: Yeah, I love that. And actually, the best piece of advice that my mom ever gave me that I literally carry, like I hear it in my head all the time. Is, and this, this was when I was pregnant with my oldest and it was at a baby shower, is. Sabrina was a person before she was a mom, and that person still exists after becoming a mom.

And so not losing sight of the things that drive me, the things that I need and all of that, and allowing myself, even though, like you said, motherhood is all encompassing. You can’t just halfway do it. It is all encompassing and it’s really easy for women to get sucked into that identity and taking all of their free time and pouring it into their kids, which is lovely.

But we need that recharge. We need that space and the place to have our own passions and to take care of ourselves.

Jess: Yeah, and I have goosebumps having this conversation because I think about, as a little girl, I wanted to see my mom. As her own person. I loved seeing her go to work. I loved seeing her exercise.

I loved seeing her do her own thing because it gave me something to look up to, you know, like I would aspire to do certain things the way that I saw her doing it, and. I just think now the way that I am choosing to spend my time, the way that I am choosing to speak about my life, about my circumstances, about other people, just everything that I’m doing.

Like I have two little eyes on me now and yeah, she’s only four months old, so maybe it’s not, you know, quite sticking as deeply as it will in the future for her. But it’s just so important to me to, have you heard the saying? I think, I don’t know who said it, but it’s like kids, they it things are caught not taught.

Yeah, that’s. That’s something that I just think about every single day, and I just, it’s, I want her. I’m the best version of me when I am filling myself up, when I am honoring who I am as a human, and I want to give that to her. I want to give my daughter, my husband, my friends, the best version of me, and the only way that I can do that is if I keep myself a priority.

Sabrina: Yeah, absolutely. Yes. And that’s so true. I can say now that I, I’m in the season where my kids are fully aware of what I’m doing and what’s going on. I want them to know that I have priorities outside of them. I want them to know that when I’m, when they’re at school, I am working and I’m doing things, and in the summer is when they really get to see it, because I still have office hours and I still am working with clients and all of that, and we have to balance a little bit of how does mom get that time?

They know I have a job and this is what I do and this is why I go places and all that. And it’s so important for me because I want them to, I want them to know that I have something that’s mine, but also that I’m impacting others and that I built something. You know, there’s so many reasons why. I want my kids to see me take time for myself, but also for my business.

Jess: Right? That’s one thing people would ask me when I was pregnant, like, what are you most looking forward to becoming a mom? And the first thing that kind of would pop into my mind is like you, I’m an entrepreneur. And so I built a business that is mine and that I’m so incredibly proud of, and I am just so excited to show and teach Everly how to use her gifts.

To serve and support other people. I think that’s so important. Um, and so the fact that she’s gonna get to watch me do that, y’all, I live in Florida, it is over 80 degrees here right now, and I have actual goosebumps, like having this conversation, like this stuff is so important, um, to just, yeah, what, what you do for yourself.

Impacts your kids so much like it. Yeah. So anyway, I can go on and on and on about this. I know a hundred percent.

Sabrina: We could take this chat a whole different direction. Okay. So the whole premise behind my podcast is I like to get to the heart of things. I like to not just do the practical skim the surface, but like the why, because I really think it’s important for women to hear each other’s stories and to know that it’s, there’s so much of the Me Too, right?

Yeah. People aren’t struggling or suffering or going through things alone. Everybody has been in this place. So I think hearing the stories and bringing them to light are so important. So do you have personal experience with trying to run your life or business without these systems in place, or have you always prioritized them as a business owner?

I’m curious.

Jess: So I’ve always been really good at prioritizing for me personally, like my healthy habits, my healthy routines. Where I struggled, and I feel like these two things kind of go together, which is why I bring it up through Hussain Lee. My mission is to help women pursue their goals while prioritizing their mental health and the important relationships in their life.

That’s where I was dropping the ball. I wasn’t showing up for the people in my life, mostly my husband, um, and my friends. I wasn’t a mom at this point when I was kind of going through this, and it’s when I first started Hustle Sanely. I now, I teach that our schedules and routines are tools, not chains I did not use to operate like that.

Uh, again, I’m, I am a type A person. I love structure. I love control. Um, I love knowing what’s coming and so I kind of lived and died by my routines. I would. Kind of push my relationships to the wayside to make sure that I was ticking the boxes. I wasn’t really mindful of my intention behind my habits and routines.

It was more so of like, okay, I have to do this because like I have to check that box every day. So that’s kind of where I used to really struggle and I, I’ve told this story before, but this was kind of the turning point for me, and it’s like a real life experience that. I hate talking about it, but I think it’s important to talk about it because I think a lot of people are either in this place or have been in this place.

I was a new business owner and I was stoked about my business. I still am, but now I have boundaries to help me just be a more well-rounded human and not just an entrepreneur. Um, and I remember my husband and I, he worked a nine to five at the time. I was doing hustle Sanely full-time, and we sat down. On the couch at the end of a workday.

So I had been working all day. He had been working all day. We came together for quality time, um, on the couch, and he was choosing what we were gonna watch on tv. Um, so we were gonna watch a show together and I was like, oh, while you’re choosing the show, I’m just gonna grab my laptop and answer a few emails.

And I like, I thought that was a okay. I was like, oh, no problem here. Like this is fine. We’re both like whatev, like thinking back, I’m just like, what were you doing? What were you doing? But he looked at me and I will never forget the words that came out of his mouth. He said, Jeffs, I feel like I get the crumbs of you at the end of every day.

Talk about a wake up call, like, oh my gosh, an actual sucker punch to the gut. Yeah, I was, that was, that was the moment in my life. You know, those moments where you, it’s kind of like a before and after, so it’s like, yeah, they, they’re just like very significant moments in your life, whether positive or negative.

That, that’s one of my moments where I’m like, there’s before how I acted and how I lived before that comment and how I act and live after that comment because it was just that impactful for him to me. And so that is kind of more so my experience. I’ve always been really good at taking care of myself.

Like I said, just kind of checking the box of the healthy habits out of rigidity, and so I kind of had to do a mindset switch of learning how to be a more well-rounded person and not so self-focused. I guess I didn’t really realize how selfishly I was living when it came to my business, my own health and wellbeing, like I was just so hyper-focused on those things.

I’m an Enneagram three. I don’t know how familiar you are with that. Same. Yeah. Okay. So I’m an achiever by nature. That’s just kind of like where I find like my solace is like doing things, um, making goals happen. Um, so that’s kind of my experience with that. Again, so it’s a little bit different than what you asked, but I feel like they kind of relate with one another.

Sabrina: Yeah. And let me just say, I, I don’t know if anybody’s ever pointed this out or you’ve ever realized this, but I feel like. What a blessing that he told you that so early on. You know, because I feel like a lot of spouses wouldn’t say anything. Mm-hmm. Or wouldn’t say anything until like way down the road.

Right. When like damage has been done and how beautiful that he caught it right in the beginning. You heard it right in the beginning and changes were made. I mean, that’s beautiful.

Jess: Thank you. That is one thing we had a very deep conversation about this last night. ’cause anniversary chats and all of that.

Yeah, yeah. Um, and we were just talking about how. Proud we are of how effective we argue. I wouldn’t consider that an argument, but just like a heated topic because it hasn’t always been this way. We’ve been together since I was 16. I’m 33 now. Um, and it, so it took us, it took us a few years of child and answer, but that is something Thank you for saying that, that we are really proud of as a couple, that we kind of do well together.

Sabrina: Yeah. Yeah. I love that. I know from experience personally in coaching that a lot of women love the idea of healthy habits and routines, but it’s actually putting them into practice. That’s a whole other thing, right? That’s that New Year energy, right? Like I’m gonna burn it down and set up myself for all this new stuff, and then they don’t even make it outta January.

Right? So I feel like entrepreneurs, female entrepreneurs struggle with this the most. So why do you think

Jess: that is? I think you said it. You said my answer kind of in your question. I feel like a lot of people think that they have to start from scratch. They have to start from ground zero. They have to throw everything out and rebuild.

That’s exhausting. That’s. Not sustainable, especially if you are a mom, a business owner, a wife, insert all of your roles. A student, a, a neighbor, a friend, like it’s not sustainable because life keeps going right? Like in the background, like the days are still passing. Your responsibilities are still there.

Despite your desire to burn it all down, start fresh. Um, so I think that’s a big reason why women especially struggle with kind of consistency is because they want to have this giant life overhaul when that’s not sustainable. And I think also. We have a tendency to internalize a lot, which I think creates a lot of clutter in our minds.

Um, and I really do think that clutter and lack of clarity are the two biggest culprits of overwhelm. Um, and I think that’s. Another thing, another reason why women aren’t consistent, because they feel overwhelmed. They’re just like, how am I gonna fit this in my day? How am I gonna show up for this? Like, I have to do X, Y, z, I’m tired by 11:00 AM.

Like, there’s just no way. Does that make sense?

Sabrina: Definitely, and I do a hundred percent agree on like the mental overwhelm. And that is something that is totally unique to women, right? Like we carry the mental load of the house and the kids and all the stuff, and then you add in a business. Men don’t do that, you know?

Right. It’s just we are made differently and so we carry all of this mental stuff around and I am a huge fan of just like a brain dump, you know? Like that is step one, the overwhelm. Let’s get it out of your head half the time. Items on the list you can’t even control. Right. There’re worry or past or future, they’re things that, that aren’t actual items that you need to be carrying around, but we carry this mental load that is so different than anybody else.

And then I feel like we, you know, we like to beat ourselves up over it a little bit. You know, it’s like instead of just acknowledging it and having grace for it and creating systems to move through it. We carry this mental load and we don’t do anything about it, and then we talk really poorly to ourselves.

Jess: Right. I imagine a hamster on a wheel. That’s what I always picture, because you’re just running, running, running, going, going, going, but you’re not moving anywhere. And it’s like you said, it’s because we’re holding so much in, but whenever we do something, even as simple as a brain dump, getting it out, like you said, most of the stuff we realize like, wait a second, there’s nothing I can do about this.

Why am I carrying this burden? Then I feel like another thing is that when we kind of dump all of those things out, at least me personally, when I look at them on paper, they don’t seem like as big of a deal when I’m looking at them on paper. Because I feel like, to me, I call it giving it a name. Like when you give whatever it is, a name, a k, a, just like getting it out, seeing it, you’re like, oh, okay, that’s actually like this big of a problem.

But in my mind, because it’s up there swirling around with 800 other thoughts, it feels like this big of a problem.

Sabrina: Yeah, I totally agree. I totally agree. So there are women listening. I know for sure that. Have been living this hustle life, right? Like they’re running kids, they are trying to grow a business and, and doing all of their personal things as well, and they just feel like they’re stuck on that hamster wheel, and it’s coming at the cost of like mental and physical health, right?

Mm-hmm. Because that’s what happens. The burnout, which can lead to depression. I mean, it’s this whole horrible thing. How would you encourage someone. To like, what is the step one? How is this woman going to step out of this and into her new potential reality?

Jess: Yeah. So I’m gonna give you two answers.

Somebody who is kind of familiar with hustles sanely, I tell them to go one route. Someone who is kind of brand new to my world and what I do, I tell them to go another route. So if you’re brand new Tassel Stanley, you’ve never heard of any of our lingo, I think the best first step is. Going within, getting quiet, pausing, and asking yourself like, okay, what area of my life do I feel the most empty in right now?

Like, what feels the most chaotic? Where do I feel like I, like I said, you’re just running on E. Like, it’s really hard for you to show up for that area of your life, um, and create one. To improve that area. I think again, we try to just renovate our whole entire lives all at once. And that’s why a lot of the times, a lot of stuff doesn’t stick.

Um, so I think choose one area of your life. Um, and if you wanna even go a little like a layer deeper, like choose a specific area within an area. So like, let’s say you right now, motherhood is what is feeling. You know, just very overwhelming. Maybe it’s your business, like choose something in motherhood.

Choose something in your business. Choose something with your mental health, with your physical health that is just feeling like a slog. Or like I said, you’re feeling kind of empty and create one habit and promise yourself to stick to that habit for a week, one week. And I think just kind of having like, that’s creating momentum.

And when we create momentum, that momentum is what creates consistency, right? So that’s kind of that direction. And then if you have been a part of the Hustle Stanley community for any amount of time, um, I’m sure that you have heard me talk about Hustle Stanley five or HS five. It’s a list of five intentional habits that the Hustle Stanley community does every day to hold us accountable to making progress on our goals.

While protecting and prioritizing our mental health and the important relationships in our lives. And the cool thing with Hustle Stanley Five, and I’ll share the five habits, you can kind of tweak it and mold it to meet you where you’re at. The way that I implemented Hustle Stanley five as a brand new mom, like when my daughter was six weeks and younger, looks vastly different now because I was on maternity leave.

I wasn’t working back then. Now the way that I’m implementing Hustle Stanley five in my life, it kind of helps me. I don’t like the word balance, so I’ll say navigate, um, motherhood and entrepreneurship, whereas I was using Hustle Sanely five when my daughter was really, really little to just make sure that I was taking care of myself as I was figuring out this brand new role.

Um, so those five habits that make up hustle Sanely five, complete your focus three, which are the three most important tasks for you to get done from day to day. So they’re gonna be different every day. They’re gonna be different for every person, for every season. So that’s number one. Number two is move your body for 30 minutes.

Number three is tidy for 15 minutes. Number four is say or do one kind thing for yourself. And number five is say or do one kind thing for someone else. And I say, this is a good starting point because. They’re action steps that you can take there. It’s something that you can look at and you can say, okay, these are five things that I can weave into my day, and that’s the heart behind HS five.

It’s not a to-do list. It’s not a list of like, oh my gosh, I have to do this. I have to tick the boxes. You know, that’s not like throw that out. It’s a tool to teach women. Women, especially. How to make progress on their goals, but while taking care of those other areas of their lives by weaving it into their day to day.

Because again, I feel like a lot of people wanna throw things out rather than learning how to weave small things in. So that’s kinda the heart behind HS five.

Sabrina: Yeah, I love that. And I personally love the pick one thing because when you’re so overwhelmed, you can do one thing. Yeah. Like anybody can do one thing, you know?

And, but I think a really big key to that is setting the expectation that like. One thing isn’t gonna make you feel immediately better, right? But to focus on the, like, I’m gonna do one thing today and I’m gonna do the same thing tomorrow, right? And I’m going to get progress and it’s not gonna be an immediate relief.

You know, like knowing that it’s, it’s a process, but just focus on that one positive change you can make. I love that because that’s, it’s super doable,

Jess: right? And you have to think how long did it take you to get where you’re at, right? Like you’re overwhelmed didn’t happen overnight, so it’s not going to disappear overnight.

Um, and it, it can feel a little frustrating. I understand that. To choose one thing because it feels like you’re not doing enough, but doing one thing is better than doing. Nothing, which is what you’re currently doing in, in the sense of choosing like how you’re gonna fill your cup type of a situation.

Obviously you’re doing a lot, um, which is the problem, but I feel like we kind of have to do a mindset shift. So I teach this thing called the Five Keys to hustling Sanely. It’s. The foundation for everything that I teach. And key one is get your mindset right, because our mindset is the driver of everything that we do.

And so I encourage you if that’s kind of where your head goes, like what is doing, changing one thing gonna do, like what’s the point? Kind of a mindset. I challenge you to just kind of think about if you do that one thing every day, how much different your life will look and then it’s not going to. Stay.

One thing, once you’ve kind of integrated that one thing into your life, whether it takes a week, a month, a quarter, like whatever, you get to have it stack. I know pretty much all of us read Atomic Habits back in 2020 when we were at home. Right? Um, and the author James Clear, he talks about Habit Stack.

And that’s when you’re, it’s, it’s again, learning how to weave small habits into your day-to-day life so that you don’t have that overwhelming feeling of needing to throw everything out and starting from scratch.

Sabrina: Yeah, totally. And I always use this example of like dieting, which I hate using that example, but it’s a, it’s an example everybody knows that’s why I go to it.

But when you commit to moving your body 30 minutes a day, or if you just commit to like not having fast food for lunch, like making one good choice. You tend to make other better choices too, even when that’s not your focus because your body and your mind are responding to like, oh, we’re doing good things now.

Yeah. And so, you know, if you say, I’m just gonna move my body for 30 minutes every day, whatever that looks like, you will naturally start to make other better choices like. Making my bed in the morning or Right. Drinking my water or whatever. They just, they all come together even when you’re not technically focused on them.

Right.

Jess: It’s the momentum. It’s creating momentum. Like one small thing, like gets the ball rolling and it’s like when I don’t live in the snow. So I don’t know if this is actually true, but you know, snowball’s like rolling down a hill. It gathers more snow and gets bigger and bigger. You know what I mean?

And it’s kind of like that’s, that’s what I imagine, like you start with that tiny snowball or tiny habit at the top of the mountain, when you roll it down, it collects more snow and gets bigger and bigger and bigger. And I feel like that’s kind of reminds me of what you’re describing and it’s so true.

How. To me, that’s why I’m a big fan. Even as a mom of mindful mornings, I spend my morning routine now looks vastly different than before I had a kid. Um, but I still make sure to prioritize that 15 to 20 minutes of journaling. That’s kind of my, I call it like my mental health hygiene in the morning. Um, it’s a non-negotiable for me, even if it, even if my daughter wakes up with me, I have my journal and I’m like scribbling with her in this arm and I’m riding around her.

Or if I have to revisit it, you know, I get up around 6, 6 30. If I don’t get to it until nine because she needs my attention, that’s fine. But I’m just such a fan of making sure. To take 15 or 20 minutes to just really, for me, it, it’s meant like getting my mindset right for the day. Like really stepping into that, doing whatever I need to do because it sets the tone for the rest of your day, right?

Like if you eat a healthy breakfast, you’re probably going to want to eat a healthy lunch, a healthy dinner. ’cause you’re like, well, I already started healthy so I might as well continue through. Whereas on the flip side, if you’re like. Grabbing three donuts for breakfast. You’re like, well, I already messed it up, so I might as well just order pizza for lunch.

You know what I mean? Yeah. It’s the momentum and I know we’re like, don’t use the diet example, but then here I am with food. You know? It’s just, it’s, it’s so real. It’s something that people can like visually understand, and I feel like we’ve all kind of been there, so it’s, it’s easy to kind of correlate the two, you know?

Sabrina: Yeah. I love that. That’s for somebody who’s just getting started, who’s ready to step out of hustling and finally take control of things. But on the flip side, what about the woman who has tried over and over and over again with habits and routines and is really struggling to get anything to stick, right?

They’re, they constantly wanna do it. It’s constantly on the top of their mind. But if they’re always falling off the wagon, what advice do you have for her to finally see that consistent change?

Jess: Simplifying is the first word that comes to my mind. A lot of the time. We try to overcomplicate habits and routines, um, because of, a lot of it is because of social media.

We see other people kind of showcasing, you know, these beautiful morning routines, these beautiful evening routines, you know, taking like an hour and a half long walk in the middle of their workday. And I’m just like, great. I love that for you. But that’s not for me in this season, you know? Um, so I think that’s how I would encourage that woman is to, and maybe you’re doing this subconsciously, like creating your habits and routines based on what you’re seeing other people do, but your life, your roles, your values, your goals are.

Incredibly different from any other human on this planet. So you are going to have to really pull back the curtain, get real with yourself. And I think another thing too, routines to me, I view them as kind of runways like at an airport. So when a plane is landing, like routine, like the runway, it’s space for the plane to land so that it’s not crashing into the airport building crashing into other planes.

Like it just, it creates. Space. So for me that’s kind of how I view routines. It’s just kind of creating space like in between different parts of our days and just kind of giving us like, you know, like a, something that’s, that we can count on to be there to help us, like kind of transition from like one part of our day to the next.

And I think a lot of the times people do get caught up in routines are like these beautiful aesthetic things. To me, that’s really not what a routine is. A routine, to me it’s, it’s very practical. It’s very. Real life. And so I think kind of letting that go, like of course certain parts of your routine can be aesthetic.

You can use a cute coffee cup whenever you’re making your coffee in the morning. You know what I’m saying? Like more power to you. But I think taking the emphasis off of how the routine looks. And putting more emphasis on the intention behind the routine.

Sabrina: Yeah. I love that. I, I also love to teach students that like, keep your eyes on your own paper.

You know, like paying attention to what everybody else is doing is fun in the, in the year of 2023, because we do get to see what other people are doing. Right. But it’s so easy to get distracted and think that like she’s doing that I need to be doing that. He’s doing that. I should be doing that. Right.

But really, when you drill down, do the things that you’re seeing and you’re trying to implement, do they even really matter to you because maybe they don’t, right? And you’re trying to make it stick and it’s something that you don’t even need, want care about, you know? Right.

Jess: Or that it doesn’t make sense for your life.

I have an example that kind of pops into my mind, so I. Like, I imagine like you have a neighbor who you can see into their backyard. Maybe you have like a chain link fence. So it’s like everything is pretty, like you can see everything going on back there. Maybe her backyard is like so beautiful. They, she has like a fire pit, an egg chair, like, you know, her plants are like taken care of.

They’re green, they’re luscious. She has like a wood deck that’s just like pristine. Whereas when you look in your backyard, you have like your swing set, like your kids’ little blow up pool, like, you know what I mean? Like pool noodles, like kind of shooting out everywhere. That’s like your version of a plant, right?

And maybe your neighbor doesn’t have kids, so your backyard wouldn’t make sense for her because she doesn’t have kids, whereas her backyard doesn’t make sense for you because you do have kids. So I feel like that’s just another. Just visual representation of keeping your eyes on your own paper. Like it’s like trying, I imagine a toddler, like trying to stick like a round peg in a square hole.

Like it’s not gonna fit because it doesn’t make sense. It’s not supposed to fit.

Sabrina: Totally. Totally. Exactly. I love that. So. This has been a super fun chat. I love to end with just some fun personality stuff. Um, so I’ve got four questions for you. What is your current favorite coffee shop order?

Jess: Okay, so my local coffee shop, my husband and I are part owners of a coffee shop here in Tampa.

And so I go literally every single day of my life because I’m like, gotta support, you know, gotta support. Um, yeah. And so they actually just added a lavender latte to the menu. So I have been ordering it every single day. It’s an iced. Oat milk, lavender latte. But I get it half sweet. So that,

Sabrina: oh good. That sounds, that sounds fantastic.

I’m kind of funny with coffee. I have like my standard go-tos at Starbucks and I like don’t veer from that. However, I love a local small business coffee shop, and when I go into those I’m always like, what’s your special? What’s your favorite? I don’t know why I veer off adventurous. Yeah. In Starbucks, I’m not adventurous, but other places are totally adventurous.

So next question is, what is your dream Vacation money is. No object.

Jess: Okay. My husband and I, and we’re making this happen. Next year. We’re gonna be going and it is our dream truly to go to Paris because it’s a little cheesy. We met in high school, French class, so we’re like, oh, have to go. We have to go to Paris.

Like it’s a non-negotiable in our lives and we are supposed to go in 2020 ’cause I turned 30. Obviously that did not happen. Then we had a baby did not happen. So next year for our 10 year wedding anniversary, we’re going to Paris and I’m

Sabrina: so excited. I love that. And I have a great Paris story for you. So I’ve like always been obsessed with Paris and France and all that.

Yeah. And when I was pregnant with my oldest, we had a babymoon. It was. It was actually not a babymoon at the time. We planned it before I got pregnant. Okay. Okay. And we were gonna, we were gonna spend 10 days and we were gonna bounce between Paris and Florence. Mm-hmm. And then I got pregnant and then I was like rolling into first trimester and I felt horrible.

And we were like, do we cancel this? Do you wanna be like, what are we gonna do? We’d never been to Europe before. And I just really felt the tug. I was like, we still need to go, but like let’s settle. Let’s slow this down. So we scrapped Florence and we spent 10 full days in one city, just in Paris. As a travel person, like we wanna see the sites, but also enjoy like just the community and what it’s like to live there.

Like a local and 10 days in Paris is a really long time and we took it so slow and it was magic. Yeah, I literally, I took a nap every afternoon. ’cause I was tired, but also we had the time to do that. We saw one site a day, we took a nap every afternoon. And then after nap time was like wander around like a local and it was, it was like an actual restful vacation, sounds like.

Yes. It was so fun. And by the last day of our trip, we had already checked off all of the like big sites we wanted to see. And we’d had so much downtime and we felt so rested. We were like. Let’s hop on the train and go to Paris, Disney. And so we totally did. And we’re like, not Disney people, but we were like, why not?

We’re here. We’re here. Yep. It was. It was so fun. So I’m

Jess: so excited that you

Sabrina: get

Jess: to do that. That is so awesome. Yeah. I cannot wait. And it’s been on our bucket list since we were in high school, French class, and we were like, okay, now is the time.

Sabrina: Yes. I remember sitting in a cafe that very first night, which if people have not told you, they don’t eat dinner until like nine or 10:00 PM.

Oh my gosh. Good to know. Get your mind right. Okay. But I remember sitting in a cafe and it was like they’re all out on the street, you know? And we’re sitting out there and we’re just people watching and having like all this delicious food. And I look at my husband and I was like. I feel like we’re not cool enough to be here.

Like just this whole thing is just the whole, this whole thing is so magic, you know?

Jess: That’s awesome. I cannot wait. Oh my gosh. I’ll definitely report back on how the trip goes this time next year. Yeah. Okay.

Sabrina: I love it. Okay, so thinking back over the course of your business, what was the best decision or investment that you felt like was a game changer for you?

Jess: So best decision was for me, going all in with it. I feel like that’s a given because I had to make the choice to drop outta grad school because I couldn’t do both. Once Hus Sanely hit a certain point, I was like, okay, this is taking a lot of my time and energy. Can’t do grad school anymore. So that’s the best decision that I’ve made.

A best investment. I would say is my virtual assistant. She is my right hand girl. She does all the things that give me anxiety in my business and that drive me up a wall, like answering customer service, emails, all of that kind of stuff. And I feel like having her on my team has just. It really reignited my love and my passion for my business when I was kind of feeling a little bit spread too thin.

So I think that is for sure my best investment.

Sabrina: I love that. So let’s make a mental note next time we chat. This is what we’re gonna talk about, is taking the leap to grow your team love, because that’s something that I know a lot of people, a lot of people are hesitant about. Okay, last question. Um, if you weren’t.

Doing what you’re doing now, designing planners, podcasting, doing the coaching, running your membership, what would you be doing?

Jess: I would be a personal trainer. I was a personal trainer in my early twenties and I absolutely loved it. But I kind of got burnt out on it. I wasn’t a healthy, I was like an unhealthy, healthy person if, you know, obsessed with like tracking everybody to food, like having two hour workouts every day or it didn’t count.

Um, so I feel like I’m a much healthier version of me now, and I feel like I could bring a lot of. Healthy mindset shifts to the fitness space that it is in dire need of. So if I wasn’t doing hustle sanely, that is what I would be doing, I

Sabrina: think. Okay. I love that so much. Um, let’s just end right quick. Tell people where they can connect with you.

Jess: Yes. So day to day I love hanging out on Instagram stories on my personal account, which is at Jess m Massey. Um, so that’s where I try my best to use my stories as a way to show, uh, the Hustle Stanley Lifestyle and Action. So those five keys that I kind of briefly touched on, I feel like that’s kind of my main purpose with Instagram stories is just showing how I’m living my version of a peacefully productive life.

So that’s the number one place to go hang out for like day to day. And then everything that I do on the internet lives@jessicamassey.com. And you are a

Sabrina: very fun Instagram follow. Oh, thank you. Um, the algorithm knows that I pay attention to what you post, so I always see you, you know, you know, I love it.

Yeah. So, um, I love that this has been such a good chat. I, this is, I’ve been looking forward to this on my calendar for a long time. So thank you so much for your time. And friends. We’ll see you next time. Thank you so much, Sabrina. This was a great conversation. Thanks so much for listening to the Shoot at Straight podcast.

You can find all the full show notes and details from today’s episode@sabrinagehart.com slash podcast. Come find me and connect over on the gram at Sabrina Gehart Photography. If you’re loving the podcast, I’d be honored if you hit that subscribe button and leave me a review. Until next time, my friends.

Shoot it straight.