As a female entrepreneur, do you know how to work with your feminine energy to better run your business? In today’s episode, I’m joined by my friend Jada Dobesh, a holistic wellness coach. We’re chatting all about feminine and masculine energy in entrepreneurship, using your menstrual cycle to work smarter, and developing self-trust and self-worth.
The Shoot It Straight Podcast is brought to you by Sabrina Gebhardt, photographer and educator. Join us each week as we discuss what it’s like to be a female creative entrepreneur while balancing entrepreneurship and motherhood. If you’re trying to find balance in this exciting place you’re in, yet willing to talk about the hard stuff too, Shoot It Straight Podcast is here to share practical and tangible takeaways to help you shoot it straight.
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Review the Show Notes:
Get to know Jada (2:02)
Feminine energy and the female entrepreneur (3:13)
Disregarding feminine energy for masculine tasks (6:50)
Coaching a creative entrepreneur stuck in the masculine (11:44)
Using the menstrual cycle to work smarter (19:18)
Shifting your schedule to align with your cycle (29:40)
Developing self-worth and safety (36:24)
Key takeaway from Jada (42:45)
Rapid-fire questions (45:35)
Connect with Jada:
Episode Links:
Review the Transcript:
Sabrina Gebhardt
Welcome back to the shoot it straight podcast my friends today i have such a fun and exciting interview to share with you. My friend Jada doe Bash is here and she is the owner of a holistic wellness co op in Sioux Falls, South Dakota. She is in spiritual healing and in the feminine energy coaching space and well she is just such a gem to talk to. She actually came to my roundtable membership to do a teaching earlier this year. And it was so incredible and so well received. I immediately knew that I had to have her on the podcast friends. Our chat today is such a good one. And let me just tell you that we jump straight into some pretty serious meaty topics. We are talking about self worth, feminine energy, trust, safety, and so much more. I cannot wait for you to hear this episode. Let’s get started. Welcome to the shoot it straight podcast. I’m your host Sabrina Gephardt. Here I will share an honest take on what it’s like to be a female creative entrepreneur. while balancing business motherhood and life. myself along with my guests will get vulnerable through honest conversations and relatable stories because we’re willing to go there. If you’re trying to find balance in this exciting place you’re in yet willing to talk about the hard stuff to to shoot it straight podcast is here to share practical and tangible takeaways to help you shoot it straight. Welcome back to the student stripe podcast, my friend. It’s so good to see you. So I’m we’re gonna dive right in. I want to explain to the audience today. Earlier this year, I had the privilege of welcoming you into my membership group, the roundtable to come teach to those women and they all went bananas. They all went bananas for your teaching. And I knew immediately that I had to have you on the podcast. I’m excited to chat. But before we dive straight in, I want to let you introduce yourself.
Jada Dobesh
Oh great. My favorite thing to do? Well, I’m Jay to dough bash, I own and operate, manage and facilitates sailor space, a holistic wellness cooperative in Sioux Falls, South Dakota. Within that I am a spiritual healing facilitator. And I am high key obsessed with feminine energy and the feminine body healing mother wounds and all of those kinds of things, just really being able to help women embody who they were built to be, and learning how to tap into that feminine side of them that was really just not encouraged in most of our cultures. So that’s kind of me.
Sabrina Gebhardt
Yeah, it’s such a cool topic. And it’s something that I’m really in tune with, because I have been doing a lot of this holistic journey myself for the past few years. And so I’m just so fascinated by it. And I’m so glad that we got connected. And then again, like I said, having you teach in my membership was just so mind blowing, and so fun. So before we get too far into today’s discussion, why don’t you just kind of briefly touch on what feminine energy is? And how that can relate to the female entrepreneur running her own business?
Jada Dobesh
Yeah, absolutely. So I like to explain masculine and feminine energy like a big backyard. We have this incredible backyard. In our first house. We were the center lot in this crappy little neighborhood. But we had a six foot privacy fence around the whole thing. And it was huge and gorgeous. And want you to imagine a big backyard, totally protected, totally safe. It’s got great grass, it’s got a garden. It’s got all of these aesthetically pleasing things. It’s the vibe. It’s the twinkle lights. It’s the great patio furniture. It’s all of the things right? Everything going on in that backyard, that the fun that the kids are having this stuff that’s blooming in the garden, the cup of coffee you’re enjoying on the deck, like all of that is the feminine energy. The masculine energy is the six foot privacy fence. And it’s the lawnmower running. It’s the work. It’s the effort. It’s the push, but the feminine energy is the relationships. It’s the space created. It’s what’s created in the space. It’s those kinds of things. And I think we were raised to believe that what was important was getting the lawn mowed. What was important was pulling the weeds not sitting down to enjoy it. The back yard, not the fire on an October day, not any of those kinds of things happening in the backyard. But what’s important was tending to this backyard and making it happen. And that’s why I think so many women coming into business can’t celebrate themselves, celebrate victories. They’re worried about not understanding numbers. They’re worried about like, oh, I don’t have a business degree. I don’t know what I’m doing. I don’t know. I’m proud. I’m just making this up as I go. It’s like, well, yeah, you’re making it up as you go. But you’re doing it and you’re doing it already. You’re in your feminine already, when you’re focused on relationships and client experience and those sorts of things. Yes, the lawn has to get mowed. We need that masculine side of things, right. But we also need to enjoy the space, we need to focus on how it feels to be there. Those kinds of things. Yeah,
Sabrina Gebhardt
yeah, I love that so much. I love that when you pull back with that visual, the all the connections, and all of the creativity, all of the celebrations, the joy, all of that is the feminine side. And like you said, yes, the masculine energy, like we do have to do things, right. We do have to like wash our clothes and send invoices and do things that get us through. But when you really look at why a woman goes into business, no matter what kind of business you starts, it’s the creative spark that starts it. Right. And that’s that feminine energy, that creation, but then we get sucked into the masculine stuff of like, the to do list and all of these regimented things. Why do you think that is? Why do you think we come up with this idea in this creative, feminine energy, and then we just almost immediately get sucked into what we think we have to do.
Jada Dobesh
Because we think we have to do it, we think that creativity is a luxury, we think that relationship building is something that will just happen in the background. It’s not the effort, it’s not the push, it’s not the things that we were praised for. In school. With all of that there’s that idea that like, this is a value this this effort thing, the empty invoice, or the empty inbox, the money coming in the I don’t know, the software working properly, the dishes done the, the really clear, I did it, it’s done. I have succeeded at my efforts, those kinds of things, we get that quick dopamine hit. It makes us feel really valid. Like we’re doing business, we’re really in it. If work is just fun, and creative and relational and inspiring. And yeah, you get paid, but it’s like happening. We go what’s, what’s going to happen here. This be right. I vividly remember I was a youth pastor before I did what I did. And I had to leave the church because of really unhealthy work environment kinds of things. And I called my dad and I told him, You know, I’m not going to be a youth pastor anymore. I’m going to quit, I’m going to go work part time at a financial office as an assistant for a while until I finish up some things and then I’m going to go pursue my dreams. And he was like, Why would you leave the career you set out to do? And I said, because I don’t love it. I don’t love it. It’s an unhealthy environment. It doesn’t feel good to be there. I’m really unhappy. And I don’t love it. And he said, Well, nobody loves their job. And there’s a there’s a little bit of like we know that’s wrong, but that’s also how we were raised. Yeah. And so the masculine is validating to us that those masculine tasks prove to ourselves that we are doing it
Sabrina Gebhardt
wow, that’s so powerful the nobody loves their job. Oh my gosh, that breaks my heart you know? So heartbreaking. And that is such an old school masculine thought, right? Like you go to college you get a job what’s the best most sturdy job you can get? And then you do it for your whole life whole life same cover your whole life. Yep. Wow. That’s That’s wild to think about. And I love what you said a moment ago when you said creativity is a luxury. And how then you spoke about how we can be in this creative business like having connections with our clients feeling inspired, having all of this that that feeling of when you’re in flow and ever it’s just like magic and it’s like coming out and people are hiring you and everything is just feel so good. But then you do have these moments of this feels too Easy Yep. Like I must be doing something wrong, or forgetting something or you know, and you can almost feel like a fraud. And it’s wild because personally, I’ve been working with a coach this past year on undoing that thought of that it can be easy. My business can be easy. And so every step this year we’ve worked through, she literally calls me out. And she’s like, how could this be easier? How could this be simpler? How could you enjoy this more? And it’s wild how the smallest things I like, jump into complicated a million other steps, doing it, quote, unquote, the right way. And then she’s like, No, no, no, we’re writing that in. We’re pulling that back. What it’s it’s wild, that we, as women try and overcomplicate things so much. Oh, yeah.
Jada Dobesh
Oh, yeah. Because it’s like a drug stress as a drug. Right. Right. It totally is. And when we start to reduce stress and make things fun and enjoyable, we feel guilt and shame immediately. Yeah, because we have to keep this stressful in some way. Right? So I’m gonna make I’m gonna feel uncomfortable about ease, ie, not a drug piece. It’s not a drug. If I right, that comes through my office, I asked him what kind of miracle they want. Without a doubt, they will tell me that they want to feel more at peace. No, they don’t. Stress is addictive. Yeah, peace is fleeting, and it it disappears. Again,
Sabrina Gebhardt
it’s it’s crazy to me that we have such a hard time pushing against this. So I would love to know when you are coaching women in a similar situation to myself, quite a creative entrepreneur. She’s a mom, she’s balancing all of the things she has, or at one point had this beautiful creative vision to do something that she’s passionate about that she’s always wanted to do. But she’s finding herself getting stuck in the drudgery in the masculine and not letting things be easy or not allowing herself to choose the easier path. Yeah, like, how do you coach somebody through undoing that?
Jada Dobesh
Yeah. So I love to ask, like, what is serving you here? Because there is something that feels really good about that task, finishing that stressing out that making it as hard as possible. raising the expectations, right? We don’t celebrate that we met this number, we’re going to now we want this number, right? What feels good about that? What are you craving in that? Because it is serving you in some way? It might not be the most aligned desire that you have. But it is it’s feeding your ego. It’s helping you feel safe and secure. It’s proving something to somebody, you’re on a mission to prove that person who said you’d never be able to do it. Right. Right. Like you want to. You want that feeling. Yeah. And when you realize that that’s the that’s what you’re after. Now we can shift how you get that? Because it doesn’t have to be working as hard as possible.
Sabrina Gebhardt
Yeah, I feel like so what’s coming up for me when you say that? And so I’m going to carry this a little bit further, because it’s coming up for a reason. So somebody out here, but when you said that, what are what how is it serving you? Yeah, in my mind, the immediately thought I went to is leaning into those masculine tasks and that that energy of like, all the things, I have to do all the things I need to do, even if they’re more complicated or harder, it gives you this false sense of control, because you had a list and you did the things. Whereas so much of motherhood and entrepreneurship feels out of control and also ease can feel out of control. You know what I mean? Because you’re not tight, gripping your reins. And so for the woman who is like, Oh my God, that’s it. Like I need to check the things off to feel like I have some control of my life. What do you say to her?
Jada Dobesh
This is where we would move into RE discovering what safety feels like in the body. Because you want control so you can feel safe. You want control of your life because you don’t trust other people to protect you. Right this is where your backyard doesn’t have a fence or you have you know caught people climbing over the fence or you have rain or whatever it is. You don’t feel safe to feel ease. Right? Yeah, we assume that if you feel ease you feel safe and that’s not the case. Usually we don’t and so many I’m so curious to know how many of your like percentage of The people that you care for our firstborn daughters.
Sabrina Gebhardt
Yeah, that’s a really good question those firstborn
Jada Dobesh
daughters, oh, man, it is so painful to discover yourself as a firstborn daughter of an entrepreneur entrepreneurship in, in, coming into this place of really cultivating the life that you want, and the life that you need, it is so painful because you’ve spent your whole life devaluing your needs and wants devaluing your comfort. And so to come into a place of ease, feels so foreign. So unsafe, I was just talking to a client this morning, who, who is a firstborn, and, and is so she thought she was so self aware, for so long, so self aware, what she really was, was a manager of the room. She wasn’t actually managing her feelings, her needs her wants, she was managing the space, whoever walked into it, she could meet their needs, their wants, she could make them like her. She could make them happy, and think that she was great. And she was doing such a great job. She could control all of that. And then she would wonder what was wrong with her when she was alone? What we found was, she didn’t want it because, you know, I constantly asked, What do you need right now? What do you want those kinds of things. She says, I want just 10 minutes to myself, at the end of the day. And immediately, she said, No, that’s not what I don’t want to be alone, I’m afraid of being alone, a little girl inside of me, we talk about her a lot. The little girl inside of me is afraid to be alone. I want to be seen, I want it to be all about me for 10 minutes when my husband gets home from work. So we we have to reestablish what safety and the body feels like? Because more than likely, you feel the most comfortable under stress under pressure. And that feels good. Right? It makes you feel like you’re in control. So what does safety feel like when somebody’s taking care of you? Or what does safety feel like when you can trust that you’ve done everything already, when you can trust yourself? Everything’s done for the day, right? This is why we can’t put our phones down every email that comes in, right we don’t trust yourself, to deal with it tomorrow, to manage our time well tomorrow to be good enough at what we do for people to wait 24 hours for us. We don’t trust ourselves in that.
Sabrina Gebhardt
That’s such a good point. I when you said that we don’t trust that we’ve done everything for today that it can wait until tomorrow. That’s a big thing that I’ve been working on is not necessarily the today tomorrow. But I like to get really complicated with like the what if scenarios and being really prepared for all of the what if scenarios, and working on, let’s just see if those ever pan out and trust that you will be able to handle them. If and when they do instead of creating all of this busy work now for stuff that may not even happen, right? Think
Jada Dobesh
about that for a second to the logic of Let Me plan for every contingency because I don’t trust myself to be able to handle it later. If you trust yourself to handle it in a hypothetical, right? You can handle it in real life.
Sabrina Gebhardt
Totally. Yeah. Our minds are wild. I mean, they’re just absolutely wild. Okay, so I love what we’ve chatted about so far. But we did get a little off topic from where I wanted to go. But I do want to go there a little bit. So okay, one thing that we’ve talked about before, and I’ve learned about before, but I want the audience to hear as well is something that’s really huge in the feminine energy space is this fact that women have a monthly cycle. And we all know that like textbook terms, but we have monthly energy like our cycle is monthly, whereas men have a 24 hour cycle. And obviously 24 hours is very different than a monthly cycle. So will you explain that briefly. And then I want to talk about how we can use this knowledge to help us work smarter and better with our bodies and with our energy as women.
Jada Dobesh
So we have I want to be very clear that men are supposed to be consistent, okay. We want them to be this unshakable force. Right? We want sturdy fence posts, right? And that’s why they have a 24 hour cycle. That does not mean that they are level headed, clear, hormonally balanced all day every day. Right. The it looks about the same If you track like their hormone levels, it looks about the same as a woman’s, but ours is spread out over 28 days. And his is in 24 hours. So he’s incredibly consistent so that we can be the chaos. You are supposed to be the chaos. Okay, and I don’t mean that, like, you have no rhyme or reason and nothing about you make sense. And that’s just to balance out his same everydayness. Right. But we are so beautifully efficient in a different way. We can do it all, because we have 28 days to do it. So with this in mind, you’re now looking not at a line of a calendar, right? Here’s my to do list today by the hour, you’re now looking at a circle, a 28 day pattern that starts over every 28 days. So anything you don’t get done, will get done. Right. Right. So and I don’t know if your spouse says this way, but if my husband doesn’t get something on his list done, it’s not getting done all week. Like, if it doesn’t happen when he thought it would. It’s not happening for a while. Yeah, for a long mile. And most women, I know that it’s not that way. Right. We’ll beat ourselves up for not getting it done. But we’ll be damn sure we get it done tomorrow. And I don’t know if that’s more of an overcompensation or or really just a an innate understanding that there is enough time. Yeah. And we do have that in our bodies this like there is enough time. Now. That doesn’t mean that we can do all kinds of things on any of those 28 days, right. So just because we’re incredibly efficient, doesn’t mean that we can, like we’re super human and can do anything all the time. So there are different priorities in each phase of our cycles. So the four phases are follicular, ovulation, and menstrual. They mirror the four seasons of the year. So think about the weather. follicular is spring, everything is new and blossoming. And the possibilities are endless. And oh was what joy, every anything could happen. Right? And you’re Taylor Swift frolicking in the forest and everything is magic. This is not the time to sit down and do a bunch of like, form building work on your computer. This is not when you edit photos endlessly, forever. This is not right. Like this is not when you’re sitting still. Right? It says this is when I rearrange furniture and clean out closets and I run errands all day, those kinds of things. Because my mind is just going crazy with things that could be and it’s not focused on long term, like long stretch tasks, right? So you want to tackle all of those quick things that you’ve been avoiding. I love to batch all of my, like, phone calls I have to make, they’ll all probably take three minutes tops. But oh, I hate calling people on the phone. Right? Same. I can do that. I can do that when I’m fully killer, because I’m open to all of the possibilities. I’m in a positive mood. I can get all of those things done. Easy peasy. Boom, boom, boom, boom, boom. On to the next thing. How fun. ovulation is so fleeting. It’s summertime. Right? You get three months of good weather. Right? ovulation is the time where you are so charismatic. You are so eloquent. You speak so clearly and articulately. You’re magnetic energetically, right? So this is when you want to network. You will not catch me networking. You will not do it unless I’m ovulating. I hate small talk. I hate schmoozing. I hate introducing myself. It’s my least favorite thing. But I can tolerate it. inoculation because it’s summer. It’s just a one thing real quick will take me out of it right. This is also the only time I will batch content. I hate batching content. It is not my jam. But I’m a great writer during ovulation. I have something to say. I can say it well. The great time to do that. luteal I kind of split into two phases. It’s so long, it’s up to 14 days long. That’s up to half the month. This is fall. This is when things are beginning to turn inward. You still have some of that summer, energy going go so this is a great time. To get less of that longer writing stuff done speech writing, course creation, finish up those tasks, right that sales page, just turn on Gilmore Girls and edit until the cows come home, that kind of thing. That’s when you’re you don’t really want to be a social anymore. In the luteal phase, you’re turning more inward and your energy is dwindling down. You do have that first half, though. Some of that energy, just like nesting energy when you’re pregnant. Like why do I have to wash off the walls in my house right now? At 37 weeks pregnant, because you got to finish everything, right? Because the end is coming. That is part of that luteal phase too. So you’ll be getting, you’ll have that drive to finish things out, that you often need that motivation for. And then during the menstrual phase, Oh, please, for the love of God, just rest. Just Just rest journal. Is this is a great time for reflection too. So thinking about like, what did I love about this month? What did I hate about it? What needs to change? How do I want it to look going forward? That time of like what worked what didn’t is really important, and if you can work from bed to it,
Sabrina Gebhardt
one of the one of the tips you gave us when you taught in the roundtable was when your menstrual don’t shoot sessions. No. And I, for some reason, even though when you came and taught, that’s probably the 20th time I’ve been taught like the cycle and all the things. But that was the first time that I put two and two together and I was like OMG I’m doing that. And I went for as far out as my little period app would let me and I like marked him down. And I made sure not to have sessions on that date. And that has been such a gift. Oh, good. It’s such a gift.
Jada Dobesh
Yeah, you don’t get to do that.
Sabrina Gebhardt
Yeah. Yeah. I mean, because when you’re for the photographer’s listening, you guys know, when we’re shooting sessions, it is like high energy, you got to remember people’s names, you got to interact with toddlers, you got to schmooze with dad and and all this and it is not to mention it’s very physical, the up the down the moving the sweating the that is like literally the opposite of what you want to be doing. When you’re hurting and bleeding and not feeling well. And just there, you know. So that was such a great, that was such a great tip. I love it.
Jada Dobesh
Yeah. And you know, we joke about this, like men would not be able to do anything while bleeding, right? Like, we joke about that all the time. But there’s some truth to that. And instead of taking it as kind of an insult to men, why don’t we take it as a tip? Like, nobody else would do this? Why are we actively doing this? Exactly, exactly. And not the whole time because I will say I’m my follicular energy starts a lot sooner than my bleeding stops. So when the bleeding lightens up, I feel pretty
Sabrina Gebhardt
unstoppable. I’m the same way, there’s a little bit of an overlap there. Yeah. And so I
Jada Dobesh
don’t really even think of that as part of my menstrual phase, the the real bleedy part that really I just need to lay down actually starts before my bleed during the really intense PMS time. And I know that about myself. So I shifted a little bit. So a few days before my bleed, and the first few days of brain bleed. Those are the ones where like, I’m gonna move as little as possible.
Sabrina Gebhardt
Yeah.
Jada Dobesh
And I’m going to communicate with people one at a time, no high energy things.
Sabrina Gebhardt
Yeah, I love that. So you you gently touched on this a little bit already about the different cycles and what the energy feels like and different things we can be doing and maybe should be doing in those times that that will feel easier to us. I know that the when I first learned about this, I was very stuck in. Okay, but as a mom, and as an entrepreneur, there’s so much repetition, and like my days and my weeks, and there’s just stuff that doesn’t stop. And while it would be great to like fully get in bed and not get out for four days when I’m like really grouchy and not feeling well. And also to only be out in the world and doing all the fun things. When I’m really charismatic, there are things that just still have to happen day in, day out. And so other than shifting like the big things that aren’t daily tasks, like like you’ve already talked about, right like that, when to create content, when to work with clients, when to do the the busy work when to network. Are there any other kind of hacks, if you will, as far as things that we can shift and adjust and maybe just how we look at our schedule and our tasks? Yeah, when it comes to aligning with our cycle?
Jada Dobesh
Mm hmm. First of all, we need to release the expectation that our days are going to look the same or capacities are gonna be the same. So once you release that, once we say, Okay, it’s alright. Some days, that’s not getting done. And that’s going to be okay. Because this is going to get done. These are my priorities this week, right? It doesn’t all have to be important at the same time. Right? We that idea of like juggling balls, and some of them are plastic, and some of them are glass like, right? I hate that. Because why can’t we set down the balls? Right? Why are we in motion? Juggling? Right? I’m not a juggler. Right. But I can set everything down, pick one thing up at a time, maybe two or three things at a time. But I can’t care about everything, all day, every day. So what I can do is, is focus on like, what are my priorities. So say, I have a speaking event during the end of my luteal phase, I’ve done this before, right? You gotta go be charismatic, not in the mood. But this is a really great event, it’s great for business, I really want to do it. And a lot of my favorite people are going to be there. So I am going to make this a priority. Great, you’re human. I love that. What we want to do then, is match the self care. So this is not an aligned event. Right? That’s fine. How much? Is it going to drain me? And how can I take care of myself before and after this big event, so that I don’t feel totally wiped out from it. Right. So maybe I say no to drinks with friends the night before, because I need to get good rest. Maybe I block off my calendar, the next day, maybe we decide not to go see my family that weekend, whatever it is to support me, maybe it’s, I’m gonna go get a treat on my way there, I’m gonna get my favorite coffee on the way there. And I’m going to enjoy that and I’m going to not have the radio on, I need some quiet time to myself. And yes, the event is over at five. But I’m gonna give myself a little extra time and not till you know, I’m not going to set the expectation that I’ll be home right after those kinds of things. That is supporting yourself, that’s advocating for yourself, that’s helping you to maybe the event doesn’t align. But the approach aligns with that failure cycle. When you’re ovulating, you don’t need to do any of those things to take care of yourself. You’re great, you’re excited, this is aligned, it’s perfect, let’s go. But when it’s not aligned, we have to make it align and ended in a different way. And for instance, right now I’m finishing up an online course that’s launching. That’s launching next week. And I’m follicular so I’m at my desk a lot more than I would like to be. This is not aligned. What what I can align though is my food. What I’m drinking so I’m not going to over caffeinated, that’s not going to help me sit still. And stay computer even though I love a treat. And motivated by treats. A very tall, very large latte is not going to support me what will is using my walking pad and taking a break taking the dog for a walk, drinking water. Those sorts of things. Working later in the day, at my computer, I can sit still a little better if I move a bunch in the morning. So just try to look at it like how can I make this as follicular of a task as possible? Or as or as menstrual so during your bleed, maybe you do have a bunch of editing you have to get done. Great. Can you do it from bed? Can you get curled up on the couch? Can you bring in a cozy blanket and your heating pad and listen to Enya and
Sabrina Gebhardt
I love that. I love how you said make sure that you’re advocating for yourself. Because you’re right life happens. And as much as we would love all the events and all the things to line up. That’s just not how it works. Opportunities don’t always happen that way we can absolutely suck it up and do the thing because we’re women and that’s what we do. But your language of supporting yourself through that. So if it’s a time when you need extra support built in so that you can recover or prepare or whatever. Um, that’s such a beautiful way of going back to what you said the very, very beginning seeing yourself Yes, and taking care of her. You know, instead of just saying In Well, it is what it is. And I signed up for this and I got a power through letting your needs be seen. I love that so much,
Jada Dobesh
I think to what we forget is you are not in this alone. Even if you are a solo entrepreneur, you are not in this alone, can you have a friend come with you to serve as a buffer? Because you’re not in the mood for small talk? Can you? Can your husband seek out like, yeah, the dishes have to be done every day, but by whom? Yeah, bedtime has to be done every day. But by whom? Right? Can a friend come over and help you out somebody’s ovulating and ready to help? Right, right? And even like finding out if you have an assistant, a va, an editor or whatever, who supports you some sort of support staff find out where they’re at in their cycle? Where do you are you guys lined up in the same? Great, then you can break at the same time? Are you on opposite schedules? Perfect. She can take care of the things that you can’t.
Sabrina Gebhardt
Yeah, I love that. I love that so much. So I have, I’m just loving where this is going. I already am like mind blown. I can’t wait for people to hear all this. I do want to ask. So you are someone who works in this capacity. You’re a healer, you’re a coach. You teach women about this all the time. So let’s pretend I am a new client and I walk into your office or on a zoom call for the first time and I’m overwhelmed and I’m exhausted. And I’m not thriving in this feminine energy entrepreneur space. Where where are we starting? What is the starting point?
Jada Dobesh
So it always comes down to self worth? self worth and safety? Are the two biggest starting points for me. So do you feel worthy of what it will take to make some changes in your life? Because it will take some changes. If you are burnt out and exhausted and overwhelmed by your life? It’s not you. It’s your life. Right? And we need to be aware of that. And we need to acknowledge that like, Yes, you did sign up for these things. But you didn’t make a lifelong commitment to all of them at the same time. Right. So how can we put some of those balls down? And do you feel worthy of that? Do you feel safe? If I say that? Or do you feel like everything will burn to the ground? If you don’t keep juggling these balls? Because the reality is you could burn it all down and it would be fine. You would be fine. You would be safe. We don’t have to burn it all down. But maybe we do have to make some radical changes. And maybe you are cancelling your next two weeks work and rescheduling. And maybe you are taking a break from doing bedtime. Right? Maybe, you know, whatever it is whatever is truly the most overwhelming piece, we’ll get to the root of that. And then figuring out why you feel like you have to do it that way.
Sabrina Gebhardt
Hmm. Yeah. Yeah, I. So personally, I have a story about kind of getting to a breaking point. And my husband and I, we had to go through the discussion of what all are we willing to do to get me back to baseline and we were willing to do anything. And that really did look like basically putting everything on hold for a long time and clients got put on hold my responsibilities in our household got put on hold, basically my full time job became it sounds bougie. But like every amount of self care possible. therapy, massage, acupuncture, saunas, yoga, I mean, you name it, and it was like, how much can Sabrina take care of herself? Yes. Right. And we were willing to do the work. And it was really, really hard. But that was five years ago. And so I can tell you now that like number one, just like you said, you can put it all down and it’s going to be fine. It’s going to be fine. People step in and help pick up the things that need to be picked up and the things that don’t need to be picked up, just get left down. And that’s fine. You know, and then you’re able to, like you said, do the work to slowly pick the things back up that are worthy of being picked up again. And you know, there’s boundaries put in place and systems put in place to support you and it just looks very different. But it is a really hard, scary discussion at first when you’re the one that’s used to carrying and running everything yourself.
Jada Dobesh
I also I’m the type of person that won’t put it down. You cannot. There is no way in hell. I love all of these things. I will not be setting them down. And so I’ve hit the burnout point really hard several times. I’m saving my life now. And what I have learned is that yes, I could set it all down. I could also just apply very little energy for a long time. And that felt so much safer to me. So for those of my clients that like it, they’re gonna break out in hives right before my eyes, if I suggest that they, you know, stop doing something. Right. Right. Okay, then we’re going to try as little as possible. How can you just basically have a heartbeat and be there? Because sometimes that’s, that’s enough. That’s okay. And I, and the easiest place to do that is home. And often we feel too guilty to do that. And so then we work through that. But the reality is, most of our husbands are really great guys that are willing to pick up whatever slack needs to be picked up, so that we can feel like ourselves again. And that’s that’s the role of the fence. Right back. Yeah, the backyard. That’s, that’s the job there. They got their mower and their weed whacker. And wood chipper, they’re ready.
Sabrina Gebhardt
Yeah. And I will say, my, my husband, if you ever meet him, he’s very even keel, nothing, like sends him over the edge. He’s very much just super chill. We are such opposites. And we go so well together. And he’s normally not super emotional. It’s just just even keel just great. But when this happened, I’m seeing him jump into the protector role. You know, and like, at the time, I couldn’t realize it because I couldn’t see anything beyond where I was. But looking back, seeing how he stepped into that, and how he very willingly took on everything. And always in the fixer mode. That but like you said, that’s the job of the fence. And like, instead of me saying, again, I’ll handle this myself. I’ll take care of myself. I’m not going to open up. I’m not gonna let anybody see it. letting him do that job.
Jada Dobesh
Yes. You know, yeah. Just about kill you. But once once you see it play through, and it works out. And he still loves you afterwards. Oh, yeah. The safety and the trust that comes from that. Oh, yeah. And then realizing that it wasn’t that you didn’t trust him. It’s that you didn’t trust you. Right. Ah, so good.
Sabrina Gebhardt
Yeah, yeah. Wow. Okay. So thinking about this audience, again, mothers, entrepreneurs, a lot of photographers, one last chat discussion question for you. If there was one takeaway, if there was one thing that you could encourage this woman with today, one thing she can start doing or even a thought to that she can have, that can kind of change how she’s seeing herself how she’s holding her energy. What would you leave her with?
Jada Dobesh
This? So I, I would say this stress management is a hustle, hustle culture way for you to feel like you’re failing in another thing. Stop trying to manage your stress. I want you to eliminate it. Something stresses you out. Is it necessary? No. Okay, set it down. You can pick it back up later. I think we think everything is about to fall through the floor at any minute, and we’ll never be able to get it back. Up. Pick that up later. I I am horrible at this in my work too. Because I will, you know, have an idea in the shower, and I’ve got to launch it next week. Like, just oh, I just want it out there. It will be some Yeah, no. Can you save it for later? Yep. Yes, you can. So we’re not going to add stress I got we’re in the middle of expanding we’ve got we’ve got construction everywhere and ceiling tiles, filling one of our bathrooms and like it’s a nightmare over there. Right, you know, and I’m in the middle of launching stuff. It’s October. So it’s speaking event season, like everything is happening all at once. Right. And you know what I wanted to do this weekend before my son’s birthday party. I wanted to paint my kitchen cabinets, of course going to do this weekend. Of course, and my husband and I were talking about it. We were in the car and he was like so how do you want to go about that? Because he’s game for anything. And like the more we talked about it, the more I was like, This is dumb. I could do this. Any other time I was going to do it this spring I didn’t get to it is clearly not a priority. Right? Do I think I need to do it just because I’m stressed. So stress management, is hustle culture. Just be intentional about things things that are stressful adding to your stress level, if you can’t fit in enough self care to combat the amount of stress you’re in, there’s not enough time in the day. For the amount of self care, you would need to accomplish that task. You don’t need to do that task.
Sabrina Gebhardt
Yeah, that’s the same thing that I teach my students. I’m like, if you cannot look at your calendar and find whitespace every week, then you’re doing too much. And you need to cut out enough so that you can put it in because you’re not balancing out right. You’re just headed. You’re headed straight for a pit, you know? Yep. I love that. Okay, so I like to end my little interviews with my friends with just a couple of fun questions, just personality stuff. This has been such a fun chat, but I’m curious. What is your favorite coffee shop order these days?
Jada Dobesh
I like so at our local coffee shop in Sioux Falls here. You can order a baristas choice. And oofah every time because I don’t want to pick and then they’ll make they love to be creative. And so you get things that aren’t on the menu and I don’t have to make a decision.
Sabrina Gebhardt
Okay, that’s amazing. Do you give them any parameters?
Jada Dobesh
Um, no, mocha, I don’t like Mocha. Okay. But otherwise, no, go for it.
Sabrina Gebhardt
Oh my gosh, that’s so fun. I love that I I’m really adventurous when I go to the cute local coffee shops. But I will not veer from my standard order at Starbucks really? Isn’t that funny? Like, I don’t trust all of their stuff. But I wildly trust the baristas in the local coffee shop. Exactly. Yeah. Okay. If you get to go on your dream vacation, the kids are staying home. Where are you going?
Jada Dobesh
I have never been to the ocean. So that’s our real list. Yes. Wow. I’ve been to Europe twice. I have never okay, ocean. And I’ve always wanted to go to North Carolina because I loved Nicholas Sparks. Yeah. And that’s where they’re all set. So that’s probably Yeah.
Sabrina Gebhardt
Oh, my gosh, that’s amazing. So you’re going to the ocean. Do you have like a first stop? I mean, which one? Were no, you know, we’ll see. Wherever it gets to be. Yeah. Okay. I love it. I love it so much. Okay, I want you to think back over the course of your business, your business that you’re in now, obviously, not all the other things like the beautiful business that you’ve built. Yeah. Was there a decision or an investment that you made along the way that you felt like was the biggest game changer for you?
Jada Dobesh
I think it’s brand photography. I really do. I think that has been so I have been disappointed a lot by like, different programs and things that I’ve tried to do or different help. I’ve had nobody can do it like me, I guess. I don’t know. I’m just that’s an ego thing, I suppose. But brand photography consistently inspires me and motivates me. And I use every photo and it like, I don’t know, I think it elevates my brand. It makes everything feel put together and in place and makes me feel beautiful. And important. And like eyes are on me for that day. Yeah.
Sabrina Gebhardt
Yeah, that’s a great answer. Obviously, speaking to a photographer, I mean, I value I just had new brand photos taken last week, and I have I’ve had more brand sessions than I care to admit, but I love it. And for all the same reasons you said it is empowering. It is elevating it makes you show up as an expert and an authority. It builds trust. And plus, it’s fun, no matter how scary it seems you always leave feeling like I am a freakin rock star. This is amazing. You know? Yeah, yeah, I love that. Okay, so if you were not in the holistic healing coaching feminine energy space, what do you think you’d be doing?
Jada Dobesh
It’s really hard to visualize that. Because yeah, so much. But I originally went to school to be a family and marriage therapist and I I have attempted to go to school for that more than once now. It’s just not it’s just not in the cards right now. And it’s Yeah, certification I need but it’s I that’s kind of what I always thought I would be doing. Yeah,
Sabrina Gebhardt
I can see you in that space. Yeah, not right now. But maybe down the road. You know, I love that. I really love that. Um, okay, so this was a great chat. Um, just another fun surprise for listeners is that Jada is going to be one of my guest experts for the next run of my route to rise mastermind this spring and I’m legit so excited to bring on her expertise on this subject to the group. I know that it’s going to be a really powerful training and I can’t wait for you to be there. The doors for that my friends are closed currently, but you can get on the waitlist for the next cohort that link will be in the show notes. Jaden This was a great conversation. Thank you for your time. Thank you for being here. Thank you for your wisdom and your energy. It’s been so fun.
Jada Dobesh
Oh, thank you for having me Sabrina, it was a blast.
Sabrina Gebhardt
Before you leave today, I have to tell you about the round table. This is a community I built for female photographers who want to continue growing their business while forging industry friendships along the way. If you enjoy my teaching style on the podcast, then I know you will absolutely love the roundtable. In this group, you will learn practical ways to move your business forward while finding community and accountability with like minded photographers. Every month you will get access to three pieces of content over a broad variety of topics. In the past, we have covered things like pricing, editing, goal setting, website reviews, social media, and even videos for me behind the scenes at real sessions. Members have also had the opportunity to learn from incredible guest speakers and industry leaders on a huge variety of topics. I pride myself in giving you just enough education every month to keep you growing and moving forward. While not overwhelming you with content. Oh and the private Facebook community is absolutely incredible. Consider it your space to ask all the things get all the support and make real life business besties. If you’re ready to join us and take this podcast relationship a bit deeper, you can head over to Sabrina gephardt.com backslash membership and enroll today.
