45: Habits and Routines with Jessica Massey

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45: Habits and Routines with Jessica Massey 3

One of the biggest challenges that female creative entrepreneurs face is the creation of healthy habits and routines. My guest today is the incredible Jessica Massey of the Hustle Sanely brand, joining me to discuss why these habits are so crucial to supporting your creative lifestyle. We are sharing our own stories of developing habits and routines, while also navigating motherhood and entrepreneurship. 

The Shoot It Straight Podcast is brought to you by Sabrina Gebhardt, photographer and educator. Join us each week as we discuss what it’s like to be a female creative entrepreneur while balancing entrepreneurship and motherhood. If you’re trying to find balance in this exciting place you’re in, yet willing to talk about the hard stuff too, Shoot It Straight Podcast is here to share practical and tangible takeaways to help you shoot it straight

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This episode is brought to you by The Round Table, a community built for female photographers who want to continue growing their business while forging industry friendships along the way! Every month, you get access to three new pieces of content covering a vast variety of topics from myself and guest speakers. Come join us and get access to the content and private Facebook community!

Review the Show Notes:

Get to know Jessica Massey (2:37)

How to define your healthy habits and routines (8:12) 

Why habits and routines are so necessary for mom entrepreneurs (12:24) 

Jessica’s experience with her own habits and routines (18:01)

Why female entrepreneurs struggle with their routines (23:06)

How to navigate creating your healthier reality (26:54)

How to finally get habits to stick (36:09)

Rapid-fire questions (40:19)

Connect with Jessica (46:18)

Connect with Jessica:

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Website

Hustle Sanely:

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Website 

Podcast 

Episode Links:

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45: Habits and Routines with Jessica Massey 4

Review the Transcript:

Sabrina Gebhardt
On today’s episode of the shoot it straight podcast, I have a really exciting guest to share with you. So today we have Jessica Massey of the hustle sanely podcast. She’s a planner creator. She’s the founder of a community centered productivity brand called hustle sanely. She’s awesome. I have followed her for a long time I actually use her planner. And so when I got this interview scheduled, I literally squealed I knew immediately that we were going to have a great conversation because she and I align on so many things. Today, we are really talking about building healthy habits and routines and how important that is for female creative entrepreneurs, and why so many women struggle with it. Of course, we talk a little bit about motherhood and our own stories. And I promise you, this is a really great chat. So whether you are new to habits and routines or if it’s something that you try and struggle with or maybe you think you already do well, I promise you there is something for you inside this episode. Welcome to the shoot it straight podcast. I’m your host, Sabrina Gephardt here I will share an honest take on what it’s like to be a female creative entrepreneur. while balancing business motherhood and life. myself along with my guests will get vulnerable, their honest conversations and relatable stories because we’re willing to go there. If you’re trying to find balance in this exciting place you’re in yet willing to talk about the hard stuff to just shoot it straight podcast is here to share practical and tangible takeaways to help you shoot it straight. Welcome back to the shoot it straight podcast my friends I am so excited about today, just to be totally honest with you. I got an email about this guest and I literally squealed out loud. I was actually at a conference. I was at the reset conference and I was preparing to speak and I see this email come through. And I run over and tell my friend who also knows this person. And we were like, so excited. And I knew immediately that this is going to be a great chat because we are so aligned on so many levels. So today I am bringing Jess Massey of the hustle sanely all the things right the hustle sanely podcast website, she’s got a membership. She’s the jam. And I cannot wait to finally chat with her. I’m not really in real life, but we’re going to call it in real life because that’s what that’s what 2023 is all about is the zooming and the Internet relationships. So we’ve got a great, great chat today. And I did a little bit of an introduction before we hopped on but Jess, I want you to go ahead and introduce yourself to the audience.

Jessica Massey
Wow. Okay, Serena, what a warm welcome. I am so excited to be here. Truly, when you hold up your planner, whenever we got on, I was just like, No freaking way. Like I am so excited to just jump into this conversation. But like you said, my name is Jess Massey and I am the owner and founder of the community centered productivity company called hustle Stanely. I started hustle sanely hustle stainless we five this year, which I’m just like, Oh, my word like how did we get here so quickly. Um, so I started it back at the tail end of 2018. I was actually in graduate school for Speech Language Pathology at the time. So very different from what I’m doing now. And I actually started hustles sanely as a digital planning Etsy shop. Also, I mean, that’s still like a very tiny part of what we do now. But it’s that’s all I did whenever we first started. So hustle sanely has just really ebbed and flowed and grown. I feel like it’s grown with me as I’ve grown over the years. And I always tell people that I created hustles mainly because I needed hustle sanely. And it just so happened that other people needed it as well. And so that’s why I call it a community centered productivity company. I really do feel like that’s kind of what sets us apart from other planner companies or productivity coaches, is the fact that we create all of our products and services with the hustles in the community. Yes, they are for them. But it’s just it’s a really cool piece of how we do things. It’s just inviting the community and to help us create what we’re making for them. So yeah, I have been doing this for almost five years, and I absolutely love it. And I a little bit more on like the personal side. I am a wife to my high school sweetheart. We celebrated nine years of being married yesterday, actually. And I also have a four month old daughter she is our first kiddo, probably our only kiddo from being honest. And so that is kind of what takes up the majority of my time. I would say those three roles business owner, wife and Mama.

Sabrina Gebhardt
I love that and I have you know, I follow you online and I’ve loved watching you become a mom. And so it was really cool because when you were praying that you did not say the name ever until she like came home from the hospital. And I love that. But I think somewhere when you were getting close to your due date you shared that it was gonna start with an E. Did you share that? Okay, so my I have three kids, and my oldest is a girl and her name starts with an E and I was like, Oh my gosh, is it gonna be her name? It’s not. I don’t share the same name. It was it’s just been fun to watch you and it’s brought back so many memories. My daughter is 15. And yeah, like we’re in Driver’s Ed. We are. Yeah, while it’s wild, like we’re starting to talk about college and stuff. And so just looking back at you and your tiny little one is it’s been really fun to watch.

Jessica Massey
My husband and I talk about Everly driving we’re like, I feel like it’s going to be here before we know it. Because it really does that little saying that cheesy thing that everybody says like what is it the days are long, but the years are short, like that is spot on from what we have like experienced so far. And I’m just like, doing my best to be incredibly present and just kind of savor every every hard thing. Every good thing just kind of have my like, be where my feet are with her. Yeah.

Sabrina Gebhardt
And that’s, that’s the best advice anybody can give you. And I will tell you if nobody’s told you this, every year it goes faster than the year before. And so I feel like I feel like it’s fast forward right now you just wait. I mean, like once she gets into school and on like a school year calendar, then you’re like a whole nother level of I mean, it’s just, it is a wild fun ride. But enjoying where you are is, is huge. If you don’t get totally totally and just in case and maybe you’re not but just in case you’re nervous about having a teenage girl, I tell people this all the time. When I found out I was pregnant with my daughter, I was so excited because like a girl and I’d always wanted one but I was also like, a little panicked about like the teenage years with a girl. Um, it has been a delight. It Okay, not just surprise, I have loved it so far

Jessica Massey
saying that. That’s what I told my husband. I was like, I am so excited to have a little girl. I am terrified of having a bigger girl. Yeah, we’ll run out and we’re down to like be what she needs us to be and all that. I am kind of terrifying. So that is really encouraging. Honestly,

Sabrina Gebhardt
yeah, it’s been really fun. I really mourned when she was like getting into the young elementary age and like not the cute little chubby toddler anymore. But then she hit 10. And I was like, she’s like a little girlfriend. And like we’d like out. Yeah. It has been so so fun. She and I are going to see Taylor Swift this weekend. And she doesn’t want to go with her friends. She’s like pumped to go with me.

Jessica Massey
Her retable oh my gosh, Taylor Swift was in Tampa three shows this past weekend. And I saw so many like mother daughter duo traveling around like at target me out on like their Taylor merch. And I was like, that’s incredible.

Sabrina Gebhardt
Yeah, it’s super fun. It’s super fun. Okay, we could talk about motherhood all day. I’m sure we could. I’m sure we could. But today, we are chatting about healthy habits and routines, which is something that I love to teach about. And I know you love to teach about. So this is going to be such a good chat. But let’s start at the very foundational level. How do you define healthy habits and routines? Like where are we getting out today?

Jessica Massey
Yeah, I love this question. Because I feel like I feel like there’s two types of people for the most part, right? People who hear habits and routines and they’re stoked, like automatically they’re like, yes, these are mostly like our type A just appreciate structure find comfortability and structure. And they’re just like, alright, let’s, let’s talk about it. And I feel like there is, and that’s me, I fall in this camp. And my husband, who I love dearly falls in the other camp where he has just like, routines and habits. He’s like, that is putting me in a box. Like, I feel like I am in jail. I feel like I’m in trouble. I am not enjoying life, like, Absolutely not like it’s too rigid for me. And so I think that that’s kind of old school thinking when it comes to habits and routines and how habits and routines used to be taught and kind of perceived, but I feel like a big thing that I teach and that I really believe when it comes to what is like what are healthy habits, what are healthy routines, their habits and routines that support you in the current season that you’re in. And I think that’s kind of what really kind of levels the playing field for everybody. Where as my husband now he’s a new dad. This is a brand new season for him. He is a new entrepreneur, he left his nine to five at the beginning of 2022. So he has a lot of newness going on in his life right now. And so he has learned that when you create habits and routines that meet you where you’re at and support you in your current season, they are so incredibly helpful and they help you to show up for your life the way you want to show up for it really they really do equip you to kind of take ownership of Your Life, rather than feeling like you’re getting mauled every single day by all these two dues people kind of reaching for you, you know, people calling you and eating this at me other. So I really do think that is how I would describe healthy habits, healthy routines is routines and habits that support you, like in your current season because I feel like so often people hear those words and they’re like, once they’re created, they’re created, and I’m stuck in that forever. And that’s not the case. Like at all, if you have those kinds of habits and routines, that’s probably why they’re not working for you, because you’re not using them to support your current season.

Sabrina Gebhardt
Yeah, I love that so much. I’m a huge advocate of like, always reevaluating what season you’re in. Because with parenthood and business and just also the seasons of the year, I mean, just things are constantly changing. And there is no one size fits all, you will never create a schedule that you stick with for the rest of your life. That’s just 5% That’s not gonna happen. And so this audience in particular, we are female, creative entrepreneurs, there’s a lot of photographers. And as creatives, I feel like people hear habits and routines, and they’re like, No, thank you. No, thank you. That’s way too restrictive. I want to be that free spirit I want to have time to create. And I’m always telling people, habits and routines actually give you more time to create they so much reward. Yeah, they allow you that freedom. And it’s stop looking at it as a negative that it’s going to like suck the creativity away, but it actually supports you thriving more as a creative,

Jessica Massey
right, I could not agree more. I feel like a lot of students that I’ve worked with in the wholesaling community who do kind of fall into that creative type of person, they feel the same way, like habits and routines are going to stifle their creativity, where to me, it’s just like you said, Serena, it’s the exact opposite. I feel like when you have habits and routines in place that are supportive for your season, it frees up so much mental space, it frees up so much time on your calendar, it creates margin in your life, when you have habits and routines that are that makes sense for what where you’re at in life, it really does just free up so much of you mentally, emotionally, like your actual time. And that means you get to choose what you’re going to do with that margin, which if you’re a creative, I’m sure it’s going to probably be something creative. So I couldn’t agree with you are there?

Sabrina Gebhardt
Yeah, I love that. So again, this audience is largely the creative, the creative entrepreneurs, most of them are moms. So we all are juggling that balance of the kids and the House and the business and ourselves. So for this particular audience, why are healthy habits and routines so dang important for these women? Okay,

Jessica Massey
I have learned this very quickly, like very early on, when I gave birth to my daughter, I wondered what it was going to look like kind of running a business being a human being as just me and then kind of adding in that mom role, which, to me a mom role. It’s an all encompassing role, right? You can’t just kind of dabble like you’re all in your mom. And so I that was one of my biggest things before becoming a mom is I wanted to make it a priority to keep myself a priority. Because I know, I and we hear this all the time, you can’t pour from an empty cup. And it’s true. But another way that I like to do that you can’t run on IE, you can’t show up for all the roles in your life if you have no fuel in the tank. And so to me these healthy habits and these routines, that’s that’s the gas station, like that’s you fueling yourself so that you can show up for your other roles.

Sabrina Gebhardt
Yeah, I love that. And actually, the best piece of advice that my mom ever gave me that I literally carry, like I hear it in my head all the time is an as this was when I was pregnant with my oldest and it was at a baby shower, is Sabrina was a person before she was a mom. And that person still exists after becoming a mom. And so not losing sight of the things that drive me the things that I need. And all of that and allowing myself even though like you said, motherhood is all encompassing, right? You can’t just you can’t just halfway do it. It is all encompassing. And it’s really easy for women to get sucked into that identity and taking all of their free time and pouring it into their kids, which is lovely. But we need that recharge. We need that space and the place to have our own passions and to take care of ourselves.

Jessica Massey
Yeah, and I have goosebumps having this conversation because I think about as a little girl. I wanted to see my mom as her own person. I loved seeing her go to work. I love seeing her exercise. I love seeing her do her own thing, because it gave me something to look up to you know, like I would aspire to do certain things. means the way that I saw her doing it. And I just think now the way that I’m choosing to spend my time, the way that I am choosing to speak about my life, about my circumstances about other people, just everything that I’m doing, like, I have two little eyes on me now. And yeah, she’s only four months old. So maybe it’s not, you know, quite sticking as deeply as it will in the future for her. But it’s just so important to me. To Have you heard the saying, I think I don’t know who said it, but it’s like kids that things are caught, not taught. That’s, that’s something that I just think about every single day. And I just, it’s, I want her, I am the best version of me, when I am filling myself up when I am honoring who I am as a human. And I want to give that to her. I want to give my daughter, my husband, my friends, the best version of me. And the only way that I can do that is if I keep myself in priority.

Sabrina Gebhardt
Yeah, absolutely, yes. And that’s so true. I can say now that I’m in the season, where my kids are fully aware of what I’m doing and what’s going on. And I want them to know that I have priorities outside of them, you know, I want them to know that when I’m when I’m when they’re at school, I am working and I’m doing things and in the summer is when they really get to see it because I still have office hours, and I still am working with clients and all of that. And we have to balance a little bit of how does mom get that time. And they know I have a job. And this is what I do. And this is why I go places and all that. And it’s so important for me because I want them to, I want them to know that I have something that’s mine, but also that I’m impacting others, and that I built something, you know, there’s so many reasons why I want my kids to see me take time for myself, but also for my business.

Jessica Massey
Right? That’s one thing people would ask me when I was pregnant, like what are you most looking forward to as becoming a mom. And the first thing that kind of would pop into my mind is, like you I’m an entrepreneur. And so I built a business that is mine and that I’m so incredibly proud of and I am just so excited to show and teach Everly how to use her gifts to serve and support other people. I think that’s so important. And so the fact that she’s gonna get to watch me do that, y’all I live in Florida, it is over 80 degrees here right now. And I have actual goosebumps, like having this conversation like this stuff is so important. To just yeah, what what you do for yourself? impacts your kids so much like, yeah, so and I could go on and on and on about this.

Sabrina Gebhardt
I know 100% We could take this chat a whole different direction. Okay, so the whole premise behind my podcast is I like to get to the heart of things. I like to not just do the practical skim the surface, but like the why? Because I really think it’s important for women to hear each other’s stories and to know that it’s there’s so much of the need to write people aren’t struggling or suffering or going through things alone. Everybody has been in this place. So I think hearing the stories and bringing them to light are so important. So do you have personal experience with trying to run your life or business without these systems in place? Or have you always prioritize them as a business owner, I’m curious.

Jessica Massey
So I’ve always been really good at prioritizing. For me personally like my healthy habits, my healthy routines, but where I struggled and I feel like these two things kind of go together, which is why I bring it up. I through hustle sanely My mission is to help women pursue their goals while prioritizing their mental health and the important relationships in their life. That’s where I was dropping the ball. I wasn’t showing up for the people in my life, mostly my husband, and my friends. I wasn’t a mom at this point when I was kind of going through this. And it’s when I first started bustle sanely I now I teach that our schedules and routines are tools, not chains. I did not used to operate like that. Again, I am a type A person, I love structure. I love control. I love knowing what’s coming. And so I kind of lived and died by my routines, I would kind of push my relationships to the wayside to make sure that I was ticking the boxes, I wasn’t really mindful of my intention behind my habits and routines. It was more so of like, okay, I have to do this because like I have to check that box every day. So that’s kind of where I used to really struggle. And I’ve told this story before but this was kind of the turning point for me. And it’s like a real life experience that it’s I hate talking about it, but I think it’s important to talk about it because I think a lot of people are either in this place or have been in this place. I was a new business owner and I was stoked about my business. I still am but now I have boundaries to help me just be a more well rounded human and not just an entrepreneur. And I remember my husband and I he worked a nine to five at the time. I was doing hustles sanely full time and we sat down on the couch at the end of a workday. So I’ve been working all day, he had been working all day, we came together for quality time on the couch, and he was choosing what we were going to watch on TV. So we were gonna watch a show together. And I was like, oh, while you’re choosing the show, I’m just gonna grab my laptop and answer a few emails. And I like, I thought that was a, okay. I was like, Oh, no problem here, like, this is fine. We’re both like, what don’t like thinking back. I’m just like, what were you doing? What were you doing, but he looked at me, and I will never forget the words that came out of his mouth. He said, Jess, I feel like I get the crumbs of you, at the end of every day. Talk about a wake up call, like an actual sucker punch to the guy I was. That was the moment in my life, you know, those moments where you it’s kind of like before and after. So it’s like, they’re just like, very significant moments in your life, whether they’re positive or negative. That’s one of my moments where I’m like, There’s before Hi acted, and how I lived before that comment, and how I act and live after that comment, because it was just that impactful for him to be. And so that is kind of more so my experience, I’ve always been really good at taking care of myself. And like I said, just kind of checking the box of the Healthy Habits out of rigidity. And so I kind of had to do a mindset switch of learning how to be a more well rounded person and not so self focused. I guess I didn’t really realize how selfishly I was living, when it came to my business, my own health and well being like, I was just so hyper focused on those things. I’m an Enneagram. Three, I don’t know how familiar you are with that. So I’m an achiever by nature, that’s just kind of like where I find like, my solace is like doing things, making goals happen. So that’s kind of my experience with that again, so it’s a little bit different than what you asked, but I feel like they kind of relate with one another.

Sabrina Gebhardt
Yeah. And let me just say, I don’t know if anybody’s ever pointed this out, or you’ve ever realized this, but I feel like, what a blessing that he told you that so early on, you know, because I feel like a lot of spouses wouldn’t say anything, or wouldn’t say anything until like way down the road when that damage has been done. And how beautiful that he caught it right in the beginning. You heard it right in the beginning. And changes were made. I mean, that’s beautiful.

Jessica Massey
Thank you. That is one thing. We had a very deep conversation about this last night, because anniversary chats and all of that. Yeah. And we were just talking about how proud we are of how with effective we argue I wouldn’t consider that an argument but just like a heated topic, because it hasn’t always been this way. We’ve been together since I was 16. I’m 33 now. And so it took us it took us a few years of trial and error. But that is something Thank you for saying that. But we are really proud of as a couple that we kind of do well together.

Sabrina Gebhardt
Yeah, yeah. I love that. So I know from experience personally in coaching that a lot of women love the idea of healthy habits and routines, but it’s actually putting them into practice. That’s a whole other thing, right? That’s that New Year energy, right? Like, I’m gonna burn it down and set up myself for all this new stuff. And then they don’t even make it to January, right. So I feel like entrepreneurs, female entrepreneurs struggle with this the most. So why do you think that is?

Jessica Massey
I think you said it. You said my answer kind of in your question. I feel like a lot of people think that they have to start from scratch, they have to start from ground zero, they have to throw everything out and rebuild. That’s exhausting. That’s not sustainable. Especially if you are a mom, a business owner, a wife insert all of your roles a student, a neighbor, a friend, like it’s not sustainable, because life keeps going right like in the background, like the days are still passing your responsibilities are still there, despite your desire to burn it all down, start fresh. So I think that’s a big reason why women especially struggle with kind of consistency is because they want to have this giant life overhaul when that’s not sustainable. And I think also, we have a tendency to internalize a lot, which I think creates a lot of clutter in our minds. And I really do think that clutter and lack of clarity are the two biggest culprits of overwhelm. And I think that’s another thing another reason why women aren’t consistent because they feel overwhelmed. They’re just like, how am I going to fit this in my day? How am I going to show up for this? Like, I have to do XYZ I’m tired by 11am Like there’s just no way does that make sense?

Sabrina Gebhardt
Yeah, definitely. And I do 100% agree on, like, the mental overwhelm. And that is something that is totally unique to women, right? Like, we carry the mental load of the house, and the kids and all the stuff, and then you add in a business. And men don’t do that, you know, it’s just we are made differently. And so we carry all of this mental stuff around. And I am a huge fan of just like a brain dump, you know, like that is step one, the overwhelm, let’s get it out of your head, half the time items on the list that you can’t even control right there worry or past or future, they’re things that that aren’t actual items that you need to be carrying around. But we carry this mental load that is so different than anybody else. And then I feel like we, you know, we like to beat ourselves up over it a little bit. You know, it’s like, instead of just acknowledging it and having grace for it, and creating systems to move through it, we carry this mental load, and we don’t do anything about it. And then we talk really poorly to ourselves,

Jessica Massey
right? I imagine a hamster on a wheel. That’s what I always picture because you’re just running, running, running, going, going going, but you’re not moving anywhere. And it’s like you said it’s because we’re holding so much. And but whenever we do something even as simple as a brain dump, getting an out. Like you said, most of the staff, we realize, like, wait a second, there’s nothing I can do about this, why am I carrying this burden? And then I feel like another thing is that when we kind of dump all of those things out, at least me personally, when I look at them on paper, they don’t seem like as big of a deal when I’m looking at them on paper, because I feel like to me, I call it giving it a name. Like when you give whatever it is a name, aka just like getting it out seeing it, you’re like, oh, okay, that’s actually like this big of a problem. But in my mind, because it’s up there swirling around with 800. Other thoughts? It feels like this big of a problem.

Sabrina Gebhardt
Yeah, I totally agree. I totally agree. So there are women listening, I know for sure that have been living this hustle life, right? Like they are running kids, they are trying to grow a business and doing all of their personal things as well. And they just feel like they’re stuck on that hamster wheel. And it’s coming at the cost of like mental and physical health, right? Because that’s what happens, the burnout, which can lead to depression. I mean, it’s this whole horrible thing. How would you encourage someone to like, what is the step one? How is this woman going to step out of this and into her new potential reality?

Jessica Massey
Yeah, so I’m gonna give you two answers. Somebody who is kind of familiar with hustle sanely, I tell them to go one route, someone who is kind of brand new to my world and what I do I tell them to go another route. So if you’re brand new to high school, St. Louis, you’ve never heard of any of our lingo, I think the best first step is going within getting quiet, pausing and asking yourself like, Okay, what area of my life? Do I feel the most empty, and right now, like what feels the most chaotic? Where do I feel like I, like I said, you’re just running on eat, like, it’s really hard for you to show up for that area of your life, and create one habit to improve that area, I think, again, we try to just renovate our whole entire lives all at once. And that’s why a lot of the times, a lot of stuff doesn’t stick. So I think choose one area of your life. And if you want to even go a little like a layer deeper, like choose a specific area within an area. So like, let’s say you right now motherhood is what is feeling, you know, just very overwhelming. Maybe it’s your business, like choose something in motherhood, choose something in your business, choose something with your mental health, with your physical health that is just feeling like a slog, or, like I said, you’re feeling kind of empty and create one habit and promise yourself to stick to that habit for a week, like one week. And I think just kind of having like that’s creating momentum. And when we create momentum, that momentum is what creates consistency, right? So that’s kind of that direction. And then if you have been a part of the hustles in the community for any amount of time, I’m sure that you have heard me talk about hustle, suddenly five or HS five. It’s a list of five intentional habits that the hustle Sanli community does every day, to hold us accountable to making progress on our goals. But while protecting and prioritizing our mental health and the important relationships in our lives. And the cool thing with hustle 75 And I’ll share the five habits, you can kind of tweak it and mold it to meet you where you’re at the way that I implemented hustles sanely, five as a brand new mom, like when my daughter was six weeks and younger, looks vastly different now because I was on maternity leave, I wasn’t working back then. Now the way that I’m implementing hustles only five in my life. It kind of helps me. I don’t like the word balance. So I’ll say navigate motherhood and entrepreneurship, where as I was using hustle sanely five when my daughter was really really little to just make sure that I was taking care of myself As I was figuring out this brand new role, so those five habits that make up hustle 75, complete your focus three, which are the three most important tasks for you to get done from day to day. So they’re going to be different every day, they’re going to be different for every person for every season. So that’s number one. Number two is move your body for 30 minutes. Number three is tidy for 15 minutes, number four is say, or do one kind thing for yourself. And number five is say, or do one kind thing for someone else. And I say, this is a good starting point. Because there are action steps that you can take, there is something that you can look at. And you can say, okay, these are five things that I can weave into my day. And that’s the heart behind HS five, it’s not a to do list, it’s not a list of like, oh, my gosh, I have to do this, I have to tick the boxes, you know, that’s not like throw that out. It’s more. So it’s a tool to teach women, women, especially how to make progress on their goals, but while taking care of those other areas of their lives by weaving it into their day to day, because again, I feel like a lot of people want to throw things out, rather than learning how to weave small things in. So that’s kind of the heart behind HS five.

Sabrina Gebhardt
Yeah, I love that. And I personally love the pick one thing, because when you’re so overwhelmed, you can do one thing, like anybody can do one thing, you know. And I think a really big key to that is setting the expectation that like one thing isn’t going to make you feel immediately better. But to focus on the like, I’m going to do one thing today, and I’m going to do the same thing tomorrow, and I’m going to get progress. And it’s not going to be an immediate relief. You know, like knowing that it’s it’s a process, but just focus on that one positive change you can make I love that because that’s it’s super doable,

Jessica Massey
right? And you have to think how long did it take you to get where you’re at, right? Like you’re overwhelmed didn’t happen overnight, so it’s not going to disappear overnight. And it can feel a little frustrating, I understand that to choose one thing, because it feels like you’re not doing enough. But doing one thing is better than doing nothing, which is what you’re currently doing. In the sense of choosing, like how you’re going to fill your cup type of situation, obviously, you’re doing a lot, which is a problem. But I feel like we kind of have to do a mindset shift. So I teach this thing called the five keys to hustling sanely it’s the foundation for everything that I teach and key one is get your mindset, right? Because our mindset is the driver of everything that we do. And so I encourage you, if that’s kind of where your head goes, like what is doing changing one thing going to do, like what’s the point kind of a mindset, I challenge you to just kind of think about if you do that one thing every day, how much different your life will look and then it’s not going to stay one thing, once you’ve kind of integrated that one thing into your life, whether it takes a week, a month, a quarter like whatever, you get to have it stuck, I know pretty much read atomic habits back in 2020 When we were at home, right, and then the author James clear, he talks about habit stacking. And that’s when you’re it’s it’s again, learning how to weave small habits into your day to day life so that you don’t have that overwhelming feeling of needing to throw everything out and starting from scratch.

Sabrina Gebhardt
Yeah, totally. And I always use this example of like dieting, which I hate using that example. But it’s it’s an example everybody knows why I go to it. But when you commit to moving your body 30 minutes a day, or if you just commit to like not having fast food for lunch, like making one good choice, you tend to make other better choices too, even when that’s not your focus, because your body and your mind are responding to like, Oh, we’re doing good things now. And so just, you know, if you say I’m just gonna move my body for 30 minutes, every day, whatever that looks like, you will naturally start to make other better choices like making my bed in the morning or drinking my water or whatever. They just they all come together even when you’re not technically focused on them, right? It’s

Jessica Massey
the momentum, it’s creating momentum. Like one small thing like gets the ball rolling and it’s like when I don’t live in the snow. So I don’t know if this is actually true, but you know, snowballs like rolling down a hill, it gathers more snow and gets bigger and bigger. You know what I mean? And it’s kind of like that’s, that’s what I imagined like you start with that tiny Snowball or tiny habit at the top of the mountain. When you roll it down, it collects more snow and gets bigger and bigger and bigger and I feel like that’s kind of reminds me of what you’re describing. And it’s so true How To me that’s why I’m a big fan. Even as a mom of mindful mornings I spend my morning routine now looks vastly different than before I had a good but I still make sure to prioritize that 15 to 20 minutes of journaling that’s kind of my I call it like my mental health hygiene in the morning. It’s a non negotiable for me, even if even if my daughter wakes up with me. I have my journal and I’m like scribbling with her In this arm and I’m writing around her, or if I have to revisit it, you know, I get up around six 630. If I don’t get to it until nine, because she needs my attention, that’s fine. But I’m just such a fan of making sure to take 15 or 20 minutes to just really, for me, it’s meant like getting my mindset right for the day, like really stepping into that doing whatever I need to do, because it sets the tone for the rest of your day, right? Like, if you eat a healthy breakfast, you’re probably going to want to eat a healthy lunch, a healthy dinner, because you’re like, well, I already started healthy. So I might as well continue through. Whereas on the flip side, if you’re like grabbing three doughnuts for breakfast, you’re like, well, I already messed it up. So I might as well just order pizza for lunch. You know what I mean? Like, yeah, and momentum. And I know more like don’t use the diet example. But then here I am with food. You know, it just it’s, it’s so real. It’s something that people can like visually understand. And I feel like we’ve all kind of been there. So it’s easy to kind of correlate the two, you know,

Sabrina Gebhardt
yeah, I love that. So that’s for somebody who’s just getting started, who’s ready to step out of hustling? And finally take control of things. But on the flip side, what about the woman who has tried over and over and over again, with habits and routines and is really struggling to get anything to stick right there? They constantly want to do it. It’s constantly on the top of their mind, but they’re always falling off the wagon, what advice do you have for her to finally see that consistent change?

Jessica Massey
I think simplifying is the first word that comes to my mind, a lot of the time we try to overcomplicate habits and routines, because of a lot of it is because of social media, we see other people kind of showcasing, you know, these beautiful morning routines, these beautiful evening routines, you know, taking like an hour and a half long walk in the middle of their workday. And I’m just like, great, I love that for you. But that’s not for me, and this season, you know. So I think that’s how I would encourage that woman is to, and maybe you’re doing this subconsciously, like creating your habits and routines based on what you’re seeing other people do, but your life, your roles, your values, your goals are incredibly different from any other human on this planet, like, so you’re going to have to really pull back the curtain and get real with yourself. And I think another thing too, routines. To me, I view them as kind of runways like at an airport. So when a plane is landing like routine, like the runway, it’s space for the plane to land so that it’s not crashing into the airport building crashing into other planes. Like it just it creates space. So for me, that’s kind of how I view routines, it’s just kind of creating space, like in between different parts of our days, and just kind of giving us like, you know, like a something that’s that we can count on to be there to help us like kind of transition from like one part of our day to the next. And I think a lot of the times people do get caught up in routines are like these beautiful aesthetic things. To me, that’s really not what a routine is a routine. To me, it’s it’s very practical, it’s very real life. And so I think kind of letting that go. Like, of course, certain parts of your routine can be a study, you can use a cue coffee cup whenever you’re making your coffee in the morning. And I’m saying like more power to you. But I think taking the emphasis off of how the routine looks and putting more emphasis on the intention behind the routine.

Sabrina Gebhardt
Yeah, I love that. I, I also love to teach students that like, keep your eyes on your own paper, you know, like paying attention to what everybody else is doing is fun in the in the year of 2023. Because we do get to see what other people are doing. But it’s so easy to get distracted and think that like she’s doing that I need to be doing that he’s doing that I should be doing that. But really, when you drill down, do the things that you’re seeing and you’re trying to implement do they even really matter to you because maybe they don’t and you’re trying to make it stick and it’s something that you don’t even need want care about, you know,

Jessica Massey
or that it doesn’t make sense for your life. I have an example that kind of pops into my mind. So I like I imagine like you have a neighbor who you can see into their backyard maybe you have like a chain link fence. So it’s like everything is pretty like you can see everything going on back there. Maybe her backyard is like so beautiful that she has like a firepit an egg chair. Like you know her plants are like taken care of. They’re green. They’re luscious. She has like a wood deck that’s just like pristine. Whereas when you look in your backyard, you have like your swing set like your kids little blow up pool like you know what I mean? Like pool noodles, like kind of shooting out everywhere. That’s like your version of a plant, right? And maybe your neighbor doesn’t have kids. So your backyard wouldn’t make sense for her because she doesn’t have kids whereas her backyard doesn’t make sense for you because you do You have kids. So I feel like that’s just another just visual representation of keeping your eyes on your own paper. Like, it’s like trying I imagine a toddler like trying to stick like a round peg in a square hole like it’s not gonna fit because it doesn’t make sense. It’s not supposed to fit.

Sabrina Gebhardt
Totally, totally, exactly. I love that. So, this has been a super fun chat. I’d love to end with just some fun personality stuff. So I’ve got four questions for you. What is your current favorite coffee shop order?

Jessica Massey
Okay, so my local coffee shop, my husband and I are part owners of a coffee shop here in Tampa. And so I go literally every single day of my life because I’m like, gotta support you know, support. Yeah. And so they actually just added a lavender latte to the menu. So I’ve been ordering it every single day. It’s an iced oat milk, lavender latte, but I get it half sweet. So that oh,

Sabrina Gebhardt
God, that sounds that sounds fantastic. I’m kind of funny with coffee. I have like my standard go twos at Starbucks. And I like don’t veer from that. However, I love a local small business coffee shop. And when I go into those, I’m always like, what’s your special? What’s your favorite? I don’t know why. Yeah. I am not adventurous but totally adventurous. Okay, so next question is What is your dream vacation money is no object,

Jessica Massey
okay? My husband and I, and we’re making this happen next year, we’re gonna be going and it is our dream truly to go to Paris, because it’s a little cheesy. We met in high school French class. So we’re like, oh, we have to go to Paris. Like it’s a non negotiable in our lives. And we were supposed to go in 2020 because I turned 30. Obviously, that did not happen. Then we had a baby did not happen. So next year for our 10 year wedding anniversary. We’re going to Paris.

Sabrina Gebhardt
Okay. I love that. And I have a great Paris story for you. So I’ve like always been obsessed with Paris and France and all that. And when I was pregnant with my oldest, we had a baby moon, it was okay. It was actually not a baby Moon at the time, we planned it before I got pregnant. We were gonna we were going to spend 10 days and we were going to bounce between Paris and Florence. And then I got pregnant. And then I was like rolling into first trimester. And I felt horrible. And we were like, do we cancel this? Do you want to be like, what are we going to do? We’d never been to Europe before. And I just really felt the tug. I was like, we still need to go. But like, let’s settle. Let’s slow this down. So we scrapped Florence and we spent 10 full days in one city just in Paris. And as a travel person, like we want to see the sights but also enjoy, like just the community and what it’s like to live there like a local. And 10 days in Paris is a really long time. And we took it so slow, and it was magic. Yeah, I literally I took a nap every afternoon, because I was tired. But also we had the time to do that. We saw one site a day, we took a nap every afternoon. And then after naptime was like, wander around like a local and it

Jessica Massey
was an actual restful.

Sabrina Gebhardt
Yes, it was so fun. And by the last day of our trip, we had already checked off all of the like big sites we wanted to see and we’d had so much downtime, and we felt so rested. We were like, Let’s hop on the train and go to Paris, Disney. And so we totally did. And we’re like not Disney people. But we were like, why not? We’re here. Yep. It was so fun. So I’m so excited that you get to do that is so awesome.

Jessica Massey
Yeah, I cannot wait. And it’s been on our bucket list since we were in high school French class. And we were like, Okay, now is the time.

Sabrina Gebhardt
Yes. I remember sitting in a cafe that very first night, which if people have not told you, they don’t eat dinner until like nine or 10pm. So get your mind, right. But I remember sitting in a cafe and it was like, they’re all out on the street, you know, and we’re sitting out there and we’re just people watching and having like, all this delicious food. And I look at my husband and I was like, I feel like we’re not cool enough to be here. Like just this whole thing is just the whole this whole thing is so magic. You know, that’s awesome.

Jessica Massey
I cannot wait. Oh my gosh, I will definitely report back on this.

Sabrina Gebhardt
I love it. Okay, so thinking back over the course of your business, what was the best decision or investment that you felt like was a game changer for you?

Jessica Massey
Okay, so the best decision was for me going all in with it. I feel like that’s given because I had to make the choice to drop out of grad school because I couldn’t do both. Once hustle XayLi hit a certain point I was like, Okay, this is taking a lot of my time and energy can’t do grad school anymore. So that’s the best decision that I’ve made. The best investment I would say is my virtual assistant. She is my right hand girl. She does all the things that give me anxiety in my business and that drive me up a wall like no doing customer service emails, all of that kind of stuff. And I feel like having her on my team has just, it really reignited my love and my passion for my business when I was kind of feeling a little bit spread too thin. So I think that is for sure my best investment.

Sabrina Gebhardt
I love that. So let’s make a mental note. Next time we chat. This is what we’re going to talk about is taking the leap to grow your team because that’s something that I know a lot of people a lot of people are hesitant about. Okay, last question. If you weren’t doing what you’re doing now designing planners, podcasting, doing the coaching, running your membership, what would you be doing,

Jessica Massey
I would be a personal trainer, I was a personal trainer in my early 20s. And I absolutely loved it. But I kind of got burnt out on it. I wasn’t a healthy I was like an unhealthy healthy person is assessed with like tracking every bite of food, like having two hour workouts every day or it didn’t count. So I feel like I’m a much healthier version of me now. And I feel like I could bring a lot of healthy mindset shifts to the fitness space that it is in dire need of so if I wasn’t doing so sanely that is what I would be doing. I think, Hey,

Sabrina Gebhardt
I love that so much. Let’s just end right click, tell people where they can connect with you.

Jessica Massey
Yes, so day to day, I love hanging out on Instagram stories on my personal account, which is at just a Massey. So that’s where I try my best to use my stories as a way to show the hustle selling lifestyle and action. So those five keys that I kind of briefly touched on. I feel like that’s kind of my main purpose with Instagram Stories is just showing how I’m living my version of a peaceful and productive life. So that’s the number one place to go hang out for like day to day and then everything that I do on the internet lives at just come st.com Yes, and

Sabrina Gebhardt
you are a very fun Instagram follow. The algorithm knows that I pay attention to what you post so I always see you you know, you know. Yeah, so I love that this has been such a good chat. I this is I’ve been looking forward to this on my calendar for a long time. So thank you so much for your time and friends. We’ll see you next time.

Jessica Massey
Thank you so much Sabrina, this is a great conversation.

Sabrina Gebhardt
Before you leave today, I have to tell you about the roundtable this is a community I built for female photographers who want to continue growing their business while forging industry friendships along the way. If you enjoy my teaching style on the podcast, then I know you will absolutely love the roundtable. In this group, you will learn practical ways to move your business forward while finding community and accountability with like minded photographers. Every month you will get access to three pieces of content over a broad variety of topics. In the past, we have covered things like pricing, editing, goal setting, website reviews, social media, and even videos for me behind the scenes at real sessions. Members have also had the opportunity to learn from incredible guest speakers and industry leaders on a huge variety of topics. I pride myself in giving you just enough education every month to keep you growing and moving forward. While not overwhelming you with content. Oh and the private Facebook community is absolutely incredible. Consider it your space to ask all the things get all the support and make real life business besties. If you’re ready to join us and take this podcast relationship a bit deeper, you can head over to Sabrina gebhardt.com backslash membership and enroll today.

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