131: The Power of Saying No to Simplify Your Business and Align With Your Goals

Welcome to the shoot it straight podcast. I’m your host, Sabrina Gebhardt. Here, I will share an honest take on what it’s like to be a female creative entrepreneur while balancing business, motherhood, and life. Myself, along with my guests, will get vulnerable through honest conversations and relatable stories because we’re willing to go there.

If you’re trying to find balance in this exciting place you’re in, yet willing to talk about the hard stuff too. The shoot it straight podcast is here to share practical and tangible takeaways to help you shoot it straight.

Welcome back to the shoot it straight podcast, my friends. So today we are talking about something that may sound a little strange to you when you first hear it. Maybe you’re going to think I’m a little bit crazy, but like normally on the podcast, I’ve got some stories and some kind of evidence to prove my point, so to speak.

So I hope that you will hear me out here and stick around for the episode because I feel like you may, this may speak to you based on the women that I’ve been talking to in my circle and in my DMS and the women that I coach, this is coming up for people. It terrifies a lot of women and a lot of business owners.

And I come from a place of somebody who’s lived through it and done it and believe in the power of this. And what we’re talking about today is why saying no Is actually one of the most powerful tools for success in your business. And saying no is hard for a lot of people. And so that’s where we’re going to go today.

I can again, personally share story after story after story from my own business about times that I said no to things that turned out to be huge shifts and create. major opportunities and open new doors. They really did this. The saying no frees up the energy to do new, exciting things to step into things that maybe you don’t even know that you want.

So let me just, let me just give you some examples so that you kind of know what I’m talking about. So personally, I’ve done these things. Okay. Personally, I’ve done these things. These are not the only examples of this, but just to give you a few. There was a time in my business where I decided to stop selling a course, something that was already created, something that was already proven, something that students had already gone through and loved and seen success in.

But I chose to set it down because it freed up the time and energy for me to do something new, to step into something new that I was feeling called to. So I set one thing down in order to create space for something new, or the time that I cut back my client availability for my photography business, I cut it way back so that I could start this very podcast so that I had the time and the bandwidth to pour into something new that I was feeling again, feeling pulled to.

Or the dozens of times over the years and truly dozens upon dozens of times over the years that I have turned down potential clients because I saw red flags and I knew that it would not be worth it to work with them in the long run. It would not be worth the amount of money I was going to make to deal with the problems and the issues that were going to come up from the red flags.

Or the time that I told a photo client, no, I’m not going to sell you the raw files so that you can edit them yourself. Or the time that I said, no, we can’t reshoot a session because you don’t like how you look in the photos. Side note, the photos are incredible and you’ve seen them on my website or on Instagram because I share them all the time.

This was a situation where mom was unhappy. It wasn’t actually what I did, right? That’s a whole nother story for a whole nother podcast. But I say no all the time. I turn things down. I walk away from things. I stopped doing certain things. I tell people no, because there’s always something better on the other side.

Saying no is a game changer for your business. And here’s a little truth bomb for you. I bet you’re not saying no enough. Honestly, I bet you’re not. I can say that because I know that most of the listeners here are in the, they’ve been in business three to five year mark. And I love that for you. I love that you’ve crossed the two year threshold.

I love that you’re in it for the long game. But saying no is a learned skill. And the more you do it, the more you realize how awesome it is and how freeing it is and how transformational it is for your business. And then therefore, the more you will do it. So here I am 14 years later in business, and it used to be really hard to say no, And then I slowly started doing it and then I do it more and now I say it all the time, right?

It’s gotten fairly easy to start saying no. Here’s the problem. Saying yes to everything is easier. It’s easier than saying no. That’s why we do it because we don’t want people to be upset with us. We don’t want them to be disappointed in us. We don’t want to look bad. We don’t want to whatever fill in the blank.

It’s a trap. Overcommitment is a trap. And when you are saying yes to everything all the time, it’s not good. It’s actually hurting you. It’s leading to resentment. It’s leading to a scattered focus on what you really want to be doing. And it’s leading to burnout. Just like we talked about in last week’s episode.

Saying yes too much is just, there’s like no good to it. The only good is that it’s easier. It’s easier to say yes, because in that quick moment, we’re people pleasing. We are doing what somebody else wants. We’re making someone else happy, but that’s where it ends. That’s where the positive side to saying yes, too much ends.

Everything else after that is negative. So again, at this point in my career, you’ve heard me say this. I’ve coached hundreds of photographers. And the most common examples of saying yes too often that I see in specifically photographer’s businesses are the following. Taking on every single client regardless of red flags or taking on every client regardless of availability, you know, the, the overbooking themselves.

Saying yes to unpaid collaborations, okay, because they want to work with that person or because they think they’re going to get more followers or they think that it’s going to give them more eyes on their business saying yes to personal commitments that are taking up the limited availability that you have for office business hours.

Listen, I know most of you are stay at home moms, but remember, this is still your job. You raised your hand and said, I want to be a photographer. I’m in business. I want to be profitable. I want to do this thing for real. You have to have business hours. You have to have time dedicated to just work. That means.

Saying no to personal commitments within those limited hours that you do have child care that you do have set aside for work also saying yes to trades and to discounts all the time. Anything that is taking money out of your pocket for the services that you are rendering. And let me just put a caveat here.

I’m all about a good trade when it’s a good trade. What defines a good trade? You know, I don’t want to dive into this for a whole nother episode, but in my mind. If it is a product or service that I am already using, that I am already spending my money on all that I’m already committed to this thing. And I approach them and they’re like, yeah, let’s trade.

That’s a winning situation to me. What is not a winning situation is when someone approaches me and says, Hey, are you interested in trying this thing, this product service, whatever. And I have to be talked into doing it. I’m not already using it. I’m not sure if I’m going to like it. I don’t know if it’s going to work with my schedule, whatever.

That’s not a good fit. But when it’s something that I’m already paying for, that I already love, that I’m already using or spending time with or whatever, that’s a good, that’s a good trade. But saying yes to all the trades and all the discounts because you just want clients and so you don’t care if you’re getting fully compensated or not, that’s a problem.

And then also the constantly saying yes to random favors and requests. You know, all your clients are asking for all these little things. Can you make it look like my lipstick is a darker color? Can you make my under eye circles look smaller? Can you rush the turnaround? Can you this, that, or the other?

Those are all the random favors and requests, okay? Saying yes to all those is not serving you. And side note, it’s also just teaching your clients that you’ll say yes to everything they ask. So they’re gonna keep asking. So not only does saying yes too much lead to resentment and burnout, it also takes you further from your true goals.

The more time you are spending pleasing others and doing things for others that you don’t want to be doing or shouldn’t be doing the less time you have to work on your goals. Time is not infinite. You have a limited amount of it. You need to make sure that you are utilizing it wisely. Here’s a mindset shift I have for you if you struggle with this.

Every time that you say no to something, when you are brave enough to say, you know what, I can’t do that discount. I won’t do that special favor. I’m not available for that personal thing because those are my business hours and I’m committed to that. I’m not going to work with you because there’s a million red flags and alarms going off and I don’t want to deal with that, right?

When you are brave enough to say no, you’re saying yes to yourself. And if that doesn’t speak to your gut, let’s reverse it. Every time you say yes to someone else, you are saying no to yourself. Maybe that one lands with you more. I want you to just reframe this act of saying no as it’s, it’s truly an act of self respect and alignment.

Every time you say no to something, you’re saying yes to yourself and your needs. And I don’t just mean needs is in self care and rest and all that. You guys know I’m all about that, but I mean the needs you have for your business, the needs you have for profitability, the needs you have for time to reach your goals and dreams.

Again, you have to recognize that your time and energy is finite. These are finite resources. So if you are always overwhelmed, if you feel like you’re drowning in lists that never get any shorter and you’re giving up on goals because you just don’t have time for them, you need to start saying no. And I hope you hear that.

I have my coaching voice on. Okay. You need to start saying no. The frustration you have, this mess that you’re in. I love you, but it’s of your own making the saying. Yes, the over commitment. This is a mess of your own making. The great news is you can fix it, but it’s going to require you to learn to say no.

So when we think of this. Overwhelm this business mess, this drowning in lists, this, okay, well, I’ve over committed to everything now. What do I do when I think about that? I just literally think of it’s the equivalent of walking into my office on a day when I’ve have been ignoring my desk and it’s like a bomb went off.

You know what I mean? There’s like papers everywhere and notebooks open and there’s all these pens and there’s a hundred tabs open on my laptop and there’s three cups and it’s like I can’t even focus because there’s crap everywhere. That’s like the visual representation of what this mess feels like.

The never ending overwhelm because you’re just constantly over committing. And then also, The mind junk that happens, the, the stories we start to tell ourselves, like we get angry because we know we’re overcommitting and then we’re not brave enough to say no, but we keep doing it. You know what I mean?

It’s, it’s a bit of a mess. I want to interrupt this episode to tell you about a totally free 21 day challenge that is starting very soon. So one of the questions I get asked. The most as a business coach is about marketing. Photographers are constantly asking me how to get more inquiries from ideal clients, how to make social media actually work for them, and how to feel more effective and consistent in their marketing.

And while they’re asking these questions, I often hear the same frustrations. Marketing feels tedious. Nothing seems to work. I can’t stay consistent. It’s overwhelming. My friend, if that sounds familiar, I have something so exciting to share. I’m hosting a free 21 day marketing challenge in March called magical momentum.

And I want you to join us. Here’s how it works. You’ll get 21 days of fresh done for you. Marketing prompts designed to help you show up with ease. Connect with your ideal clients and get out of that marketing rep and the best part, you won’t be doing it alone because we will have a group Instagram chat where you can cheer each other on, share your wins, stay motivated and ask questions.

If you’re ready to build momentum, make marketing feel fun again and connect with your ideal clients in just 21 days. Join the challenge at SabrinaGebhart. com. Let’s make marketing magic together this March. So when you think about that, how do you fix it? How do you simplify? How do you clean up your desk?

So to speak, how do you write the ship? How do you move forward? There’s three things and it’s so simple. Number one, clarify your goals. What are your goals? And please don’t tell me that you just want to make money. Okay. That is not even remotely specific enough. Clarify your goals. What are you working towards in the next six to 12 months?

What are the things, what are the moving parts in your business that you need to make happen for these goals? Are you redoing a website? Are you starting with a CRM? Are you changing your pricing or your pricing structure? Are you adding a new niche? Are you dropping a niche? Like what’s happening? What are your goals?

Clarify what those are because you have to know what you’re working towards so that you know how much time you need so that you can look at your calendar and know like, okay, when am I doing these things? Because again, if you’re constantly saying yes and constantly over committing and constantly doing everything everybody asks, you don’t have time for your goals because you probably don’t even have time for your regular everyday to do list.

Clarifying your goals. Is step number one. And then with that, asking yourself what activities or commitments directly align with those goals if you’re in a coaching program or signing up for a course, we’re going to work with a mentor or go to a conference. That’s something that directly relates or I’m assuming directly relates with your goals for your business.

Those are meetings that I want you to still plan to attend. Those are videos I want you to still set time aside to watch. Those are trips I want you to still go on. But when you look at all the other things filling up your time, because you’ve been saying yes, if they don’t align with your goals and where you’re going in the next six to 12 months, you might consider taking some of them off your calendar.

And that’s step number two, audit your commitments. Audit the commitments that you have given yourself to your clients, to things in your personal life, to people around you, what’s on your calendar that does not feel aligned anymore or aligned with where you’re going in the next six to 12 months. What feels heavy or unnecessary, or again, misaligned.

Where are you over complicating your life? Where are you over scheduling things? Audit your commitments and get rid of the stuff that doesn’t need to be there. You are a grown adult. It is okay for you to back out of something. You are not a child. You are not going to get in trouble with the principal or your parents.

If you accidentally committed to something and now you’re looking at your calendar and your goals and your business and your life and you’re like, I don’t know what I was doing committing to that thing. I really shouldn’t be doing that in the season of life. Just back out of it. It’s okay. I’m not saying to back out of everything and you won’t need to back out of everything.

But when you go through this process, I promise you, you’re going to see a thing or two that needs to go in this season. It doesn’t mean you can’t do it later, but right now it’s not the right time for you. And then step number three is just that drop the excess. Once you have clarified your goals and audited your current commitments, it’s time to drop everything else.

Gracefully let yourself out of those unnecessary commitments. It’s okay. It’s okay. And again, you’re not always going to say no to things. You’re not always going to back out of things because what I’m hoping happens. Is that as you start to carry this process forward, you’re going to stop over committing and then you’re not going to have to back out of stuff because you wouldn’t have said yes to it in the first place.

You’re going to learn how to do things differently and that’s what I want for you. For right now, just for this season, while you are learning to say no, you need to right the ship and that means ruthlessly creating more space on your calendar. Other ways you can drop the excess. Automate and outsource things that drain your energy.

Stop writing every email from scratch. Stop creating every contract from scratch. Stop creating every invoice from scratch. Stop scheduling everyone back and forth individually. How can you make things smoother and faster in your business so that you don’t have as much of the minutiae draining your energy?

And then this is a fun little project. I actually would love to encourage you to go ahead while you are, you know, you’ve just listened to this episode and you’re super motivated. I want you to go ahead and draft an email response. How are you going to turn people away or turn down an opportunity in the future?

Write it now while you’re motivated and you’re brave and you’re thinking about it. It’s not complicated. You don’t need to give them a reason. There doesn’t need to be a, I can’t do this because. You can just simply draft a kind, polite, thank you for the offer, but I am not available for this. Or thank you for reaching out to me, but I am booked or I don’t photograph that type of thing.

It just a simple, a simple line, a simple, simple rejection. Having that prewritten makes it so much easier because maybe you won’t have the motivation the next time you get an email and you’re like, Oh man, I know I should say no to this, but I’ve always said yes to it. And, and then you start to kind of get into that, that murky water of like, What do I say?

And you get nervous and you’re not used to saying no. If you already had something drafted in your notes or in a canned email, it is so much easier to just copy and paste or send that canned email. You don’t have to think about it. It’s already done. So I would love to encourage you to do that. And there’s a couple other parts of being successful with saying no in your business and staying aligned with your, the future of where you’re going and your goals is making sure that you’ve got boundaries.

I don’t know how often I’ve talked about this on the podcast, but listen, you’ve got to have them. You’ve got to have a bare minimum of client communication hours. When can they expect to hear back from you? And when won’t they hear back from you? Letting them know I check my email Monday, Wednesday, Friday from 10 to noon.

That is when you will hear back from me or letting them know that they cannot text you or DM you at all hours that you do business via email or on the phone or however you do. And then also setting very clear boundaries and expectations around turnarounds time like for your gallery and also for your availability.

If you’re not available on the weekends, you’re not available on the weekends. Stop letting people talk you into it. If you are not capable of a quick turnaround for photos, cool. Make it a long turnaround for photos. Tell people it’s going to be three weeks, four weeks, five weeks, six weeks. As long as you tell them ahead of time, they’re going to be okay with it.

Have boundaries around your turnaround time and your availability. And again, I said this before, you have got to start saying no to projects that are not a fit for you. Stop living in the scarcity of I have to take every job that comes to me. No, you don’t. The more you do that, the more you are telling the universe, send me all the jobs cause I’m just going to do them.

But the more you stand up and say, no, I photograph newborns. That’s all I say yes to or I photograph Brandy or I whatever fill in the blank and you only start saying yes to those opportunities and you turn everyone else away or you’d redirect them to referrals. That’s when the universe is like, Oh, okay, cool.

She only wants brands. She only wants newborns. And guess what? That’s what you’re going to start getting. Okay. You have to be brave and start saying no to the projects that are not a fit for you. So we’ve talked about saying no and the problem and the impact. We’ve talked a little bit about a mindset shift about how when you say no, you’re actually saying yes to yourself.

We’ve talked about the three steps of simplifying, right? Like how do you clean up the mess on your desk? You clarify your goals, you audit your current commitments and you get rid of the excess. And just briefly, I threw in there how boundaries will support you with this and saying no more. So then what?

You know, I mentioned goals earlier, and I hate to leave you hanging with that. I do think it is absolutely crucial that you know where you’re going in the next 6 to 12 months, and that you align your calendar and your commitment with things that will support you for those goals. But I don’t want to just drop off with that.

I want to make sure just as a little side note here that you are consistently checking in with your goals. That you are consistently checking in with the opportunities and the commitments that come through your inbox and that get presented to you. And you are like buffering them against your goals. Do these opportunities bring me closer to the vision that I have?

Do these opportunities support me reaching my goals, or are they going to pull me farther away? Right? Because it’s one thing to go through this process for what’s currently happening in your business, but you have to have a plan for the days ahead and the months ahead. Right? As we go about our day to day, as we get inquiries, as we have opportunities presented, how are you going to make a decision if they’re right or wrong?

You put them up against your goals. And how do you put them up against your goals? Because you’re constantly reviewing your goals, and they are at top of mind always. As I’m wrapping up, I have one more thought for you. Saying no is not selfish. It does not make you conceited. It does not make you anything negative.

It does not make you all about yourself. It does not make you look bad. It is strategic. Saying no isn’t selfish. It’s strategic. You’re not doing it to be mean. You are doing it to take care of yourself. And as a loving reminder, and I know you know this, when you take care of yourself, you are so much better to those around you, including your clients.

It really does become a win win situation. So I am really encouraging you to go through this process today. I want you to audit your commitments this week and I want you to say no to at least one thing that is not aligned. I know that’s a really scary challenge, but that’s what I want you to do because I guarantee you there’s something, there’s something that is snuck into your calendar, snuck into the commitments that you have.

There’s something. We’ve all got something. So I’m challenging you to audit your commitments and say no to at least one thing to free up space. That’s it for today’s episode, my friend. I’ll see you next week. Thanks so much for listening to the Shoot at Straight podcast. You can find all the full show notes and details from today’s episode@sabrinagehart.com slash podcast.

Come find me and connect over on the gram at Sabrina Gehart Photography. If you’re loving the podcast, I’d be honored if you hit that subscribe button and leave me a review. Until next time, my friends shoot it straight.